The day I almost died

[Redisfinallyfree]

TO my birth family who tried to break me,
When I was thirteen,
You almost did.

I was rejected, confused, and often abused.
Lonely, bitter, and many
Were tears that I cried.
And one day, I almost died.

Something happened at school that made
Me feel like a fool so I decided to end it all.
But I prayed as I left there, telling God I’d soon get there
Unless He quickly did something good.

As I got on the bus, I met a girl named Faith.
She’d not spoken to me before. Inside I was sore
And when I came in the door, she said;
“The weight on your shoulders I see.”

Never hearing this before, I wanted to hear more.
Her next words, my suicidal intent would end.
She said; “Hang in there. It’s going to get better.”
I’d been looking at the floor, but my head snapped up.
She looked kindly into my eyes and smiled a reassuring smile.

I was now changed,
Forever not the same
As I was when I came in the door.
I believed God wanted me to live.

You see, I’d been suicidal twice before,
My father’s revolver in my hands,
Staring down the barrel of fate.

But two times before
I’d heard Faith’s words by the door.
Whispered quietly into my mind.

Two times I’d been comforted
Just enough to go on. But this day,
I’d made up my mind.
I was certain I could take no more.

I needed help, intervention.
I needed suicide prevention.
I needed someone to care.

But, I had no one to care
If in deep despair,
I scattered my brains
On the floor.

All I could do was pray,
While walking to the bus door that day.
I did not expect an answer,
Didn’t think one was coming.

I was going home to die
When Faith spoke to me.
Coincidence you think? Maybe.
All I know is Faith’s words saved me
And that I’m still alive today.

Wherever you are, thank you God, and thank you Faith.
Things are finally getting better.

By, Redisfinallyfree

[Scars]

Redisfinallyfree,
reading this sent chills through my body
which is really weird because i have been so removed from my body my whole life
my t's challenge to me this week is to try to feel messages my body is sending me

i have been where you described
saved once by a phone ringing as i was walking out the door to carry out my plan
and again by a neighbor showing up to check on me just before

i am so glad you are alive and that you were reminded of your worth
hold on to that gift and continue to pay it forward
like you did for me today

thank you for sharing,
scars

[Scars]

as an afterthought, i want to share a song with you
written and sung by Beth Hart
that means a lot to me and picks me up when i am down

Learning to Live

https : //www dot youtube dot com / watch?v=nF2loBxux48

keep moving forward
you got this

scars

[Redisfinallyfree]

Hi Scars,
I’m so sorry that you were where I once was, I know how much pain and despair that takes. I am so GLAD that your phone and your neighbor stopped you and that YOU are still here.
I’m glad too if sharing my own pain can help you with yours. You hang in there too. You’re worth every bit of effort it takes to be whole and free. You deserve that so much. Thank YOU for reaching out to me. I’m so moved and humbled by finding acceptance and encouragement here. That helps me more than anything else.

Thanks for sharing your beautiful song. It speaks to where I feel I am right now. I appreciate you so much. Thank-you.

Redisfinallyfree

[Redisfinallyfree]

Hi Scars,
Thinking about you today. I hope you are good. I loved your song that you shared with me. I wanted to share one that met me exactly where I was when I first heard it back around 2014/2015 when I was at the very beginning of my healing journey. This song gave me so much hope because it felt like someone somewhere understood where I was. In case you have problems opening it,
It is called; “Tell your heart to beat again.” By Danny Gokey. I still get chills all over whenever I hear it.

https :// youtu (dot) be/yPzfhm0j5cs

Sorry about the ads, I don’t know how to get rid of them.

Redisfinallyfree