One Year!

[Writer203]

Wow. 365 days ago, I signed my very first lease on my very first apartment. Almost two states away from my family. By myself. Despite the fact that my grandfather thought I should bring him because I wouldn't know how to read a lease. 365 days ago this weekend, I packed up all of my things, turned my room at my grandparents' house into a guest room, and moved into my apartment. 365 days ago on Tuesday, I started a new job and entered the unknown waters of living independently.

I can't believe it's been a year already. I feel like it was only yesterday, but in the same token, I feel like I've always lived this way. I can't imagine ever going back to the unhealthy way I was living before. A lot has happened this year within my FOO that has just made the drama worse. My sister had her baby and is now having problems with her boyfriend, my mother is apparently "back on track" and is trying to rekindle a relationship, and my step-father and Little A moved to another state an hour's drive from my FOO. I've been back three times in the last year, and they keep trying to suck me back into the drama. Luckily, I don't get sucked back into it anymore.

And where am I, a year later? I applied for my teaching license months ago and got it, but was unable to get hired in my field. And now, I'm doing something very gutsy that I definitely wouldn't have done when I lived with my FOO. I am leaving my job as a daycare teacher without a new job to go to. It's not the most sensible financial choice, but I have quite a bit in my savings account to fall back on, and I don't plan on being unemployed for long. I just could not deal with the toxic workplace anymore. Not only do the co-workers bait each other and gossip, the kids aren't treated very nicely either. It's not a good place to bring your kids. And what's even worse is that it's totally acceptable behavior from all the teachers. I also realized that I was losing my love of children. The center I work at is overburdened with children, understaffed, under-funded, and the policy changes since our new director came on have really made it worse. When I started, we had 12 children in my class. And even that was too much for my room--a 15 by 10 foot room. Now, we have 17 children, in the same space. And more to come. I just could not do it anymore. Tomorrow is my last day. I'm sad to leave the children, but not sad to leave the center. Am I panicking? Slightly. I have two job interviews lined up next week for jobs not in childcare, so fingers crossed!

Here's to another great year. Hopefully it's as successful as this one was.

[mermaid]

Writer203,

I think it is awesome the changes you have mad and how much progress you have made. Be proud of yourself you deserve all the peace and happiness you can find.

mermaid

[ajei]

Wow Writer203,

one amazing year and I'm sure there's more to follow. Moving away from all you know takes courage and is inspiring for us all. I'm sure that perfect job is out there, good on you for taking a stand. Sending you all of my support and care.

ajei

[River]

Writer203,

Thats great all the brave changes in your life you made this past year. That takes guts! I think it is very admirable to leave a job because you know its the right thing to do and you do not want to treat the kids like the other treachers do. Is there anyway, you can talk to the day schoolcenter board or to somebody about how the kids are being treated? Somehow try and protect them even if you do it anonymously? I hope the right job for you will happen and it will be rewarding and very fulfilling. All the best Writer203!

River

[Writer203]

Writer203,
Is there anyway, you can talk to the day schoolcenter board or to somebody about how the kids are being treated? Somehow try and protect them even if you do it anonymously?

The sad thing is, our director doesn't seem to care about much of anything except numbers and looking good in front of the parents. She told us a few months ago we were filling out too many "accident reports" (form filled out when a child incurs an injury, signed by Mom/Dad, teacher, and director) on children. She said unless the child was bleeding profusely or had a head injury, she didn't want to hear about it. She's the one who keeps adding children to my classroom and understaffing us; she regularly pulls a teacher from my room to cover other rooms at a critical period of the day (lunchtime/naptime). And then she yells at us, saying we're not doing enough curriculum and that we're "overstaffed because she and we like it that way." Overstaffed? Yeah, right. Even if I did tell the director, she wouldn't do anything about it. She's a nice person, but her policies are part of the reason I left. Not to mention I don't have any physical proof.

I have a job interview tomorrow in the big city. It's a second interview, and I'm nervous. Not for the actual interview, but because if I get this job, it will mean moving to a place where rent is three times what I'm paying now.

[River]

Writer203, it sounds like your Director is a real bitch. No wonder you are leaving. I understand what you mean about having to have physical proof and trying to follow her impossible policies. That is where you wish there were hidden cameras set up. Like they do sometimes at seniors homes to prove abuse and theft. I just feel for the kids and wish I could take them all away and protect them. If only......

All the best with your 2nd interview. Sounds like the rent is really expensive. I hope the paycheck keeps up with the rent expense. And you have lots of money to spare....to do what you want. I really believe that because you took a stand against what was going on there and didn't want to stay and be silent, you will be rewarded for doing the right thing. Its hard going upstream sometimes.

River

[Writer203]

I think the hidden cameras thing is a double-edged sword. While it can catch the bad things, it can also catch accidents and some parents may take them the wrong way. Even horseplay can be taken the wrong way. And I cannot tell you the number of times I've accidentally knocked over a child, let go of a child without realizing she wasn't balanced and she fell over, nearly dropped a wriggly child, etc. There was even a day I accidentally elbowed a child in the face and gave him a bruise (he and another child were lying down on their tummies; I went to move them to do an activity. I moved the other child, and turned back to get him without realizing he'd stood up!). On a hidden camera, that looks awful. And yes, I did feel awful about it!

And despite now being unemployed, I'm surprised that I don't feel much panic. I feel...relieved. I rewarded myself yesterday for taking a stand and bought a new bike. I bike for stress relief and I'd been using my sister's bike, which had so many things wrong with it it wasn't even funny. So, I used some of the babysitting money I made over the weekend to buy it.

The second interview went well, but I don't like the company and the job seems a little sketchy. Not to mention after driving in said big city, I don't want to live there. I am not ashamed to admit I'm a small town girl! Luckily, I have other job interviews lined up in much smaller cities.

[River]

Yeah, I see what your saying Writer203 about it being a double-edged sword. Its great you have a bike to use and you feel relieved from quitting your job. Nothing wrong with being a small town girl! All the best with the other job interviews you have lined up Writer203. I'd write more...but having trouble thinking today.

River