OMG!! "PLEASE THE UNPLEASABLE"? INDEED!! What a trigger for me!! That epitomizes my plight with MD!! As I read about the problems that these people are having, considering both with their dx (getting hip to the lingo already ) and with all the work I've done on here to see the truth about what has happened to me, putting the guilt on the person or persons who happily dished it out onto unsuspecting me, I can see things more clearly. I was WISE to "run" from MD when I did! Nothing would have stopped her from finding a way to gloat over my dx to make her pitiful, fear-driven life seem "perfect" and "better than" others. A hideous statement, but a true one. There are some terrible, heartless family members, and even "friends", who can take advantage of someone finding themselves in a bad or desperate situation. Sad indeed.I was still stuck in that trying to please the un-pleasable
I've often thought that, with my newly found positive self esteem, what retorts and defenses I could have used to possibly out-maneuver, out-talk, and totally humiliate MD, sitting in her nursing home, getting uglier by the day, her hair no longer "curly" via some permanent wave, but straight and thinning and gray (last time I saw her), wearing her Depends so the caretakers would have less work, getting fatter and fatter due to eating too much candy and other sugary things (she always loved that junk, but ended up diabetic at the end)...but then I thought, "WHY??" What would be the point? Why be more like her, FULL of hatred and cruelty? I probably could have won the argument, but better to just walk away. Let bygones be bygones. LET IT GO!! So that's exactly what I did. Best move I ever made!!! I'm glad I did not humiliate/shame/ridicule/etc. MD. She probably really did deserve it, but I now have no guilt whatsoever to drag around and lament over.
Now, with my dx of bc (SO hip w/the abbreviated lingo ), I find myself NOT depressed anymore, but GRATEFUL instead! Even I am amazed by that. I have cried a bit from time to time, but mostly I'm laughing again. I can see what it is that I need to do. It's a LOT of work ahead of me, but I'm grateful that I have the days to do it. Or at least I hope I do. Some people innocently went to the grocery store to buy groceries for themselves and possibly for their families in Buffalo NY, never to return home. Now that's tragic. Life is a risk, but I have a problem with bc, and it is treatable. VERY treatable. How lucky I am!!!!!
I made my ham hocks and collard greens tonight (in my IP) before I sat down to speak with my T on the phone. I still need to fill my hummingbird feeder and water the entire backyard. (Temps are up in the high 80s - low 90s DAILY already!!) Then I intend to begin to MOVE all the toys for donation out of the "Storage Room" (via DS) so it can become exactly that. It's mostly bedding from here on out, which can be stored on the racks in the garage in the 70 gallon clear plastic sealed bins I just got because bedding doesn't care if the garage temp is way over 100ºF nor if it's freezing out there, so out to the garage it all goes. Papers can be sorted afterwards (or at any time) as I listen to my streaming service -- which has NO COMMERCIALS I just found out last night! Yippee!!! This is still a long process, but clearing out the storage room is key to "getting ahead and getting started", and I'm on it. Even after my surgery (in about 4+ weeks?), I can still sort things probably after a day or two or three of recovery, mostly at home. I may not have to stay at the hospital at all. YAY!! Fine with me!!
Time to water. It's down to 85ºF with a nice little breeze. I can DO this! But do hang in there with me! Just knowing that you are there is all I need.