Hi, I'm new here

[Nebula]

I wanted to take a minute to say hello. I'm an adult survivor of physical, emotional, and verbal abuse. I'm not sure if NT or MT is more appropriate since I mentioned the abuse, so I have it set to MT though I'm not going to go into details here.

I've been struggling with mental health issues since I was a kid and I'm now in my early 40s. I regularly see a psychiatrist and therapist and have been doing phone visits with them due to COVID. The past week or so I've been having a really hard time. I have CPTSD, GAD, and Schizoaffective Disorder Depressive Type. Lately I've been having flashbacks and nightmares, been having more auditory hallucinations, and feeling more paranoid. If you haven't heard of Schizoaffective Disorder before, it's basically schizophrenia and an affect disorder (bipolar or in my case depression).

My husband lost his job back in March due to COVID and we've only had my disability income to survive off of. I was on disability when I was younger but I started to improve and went back to college and obtained a degree. I was doing well for about 5 or 6 years and then everything got bad again and I had to reapply for disability. When things got bad again and I couldn't work, we had to move in with family. As much as I would love to get back out on our own again, I am grateful to be here right now, especially after hubby lost his job from COVID. Luckily he found a new job and just started last week.

Though I have received psychiatric care for most of my adult life, I do one on one sessions and rarely get to talk to other survivors. So I thought maybe joining this forum would be helpful for me and also a way for me to help other people.

My hobbies include doing digital art and spending lots of time with my bearded dragon. We can't have furry pets here because people have allergies but my lizard is amazing and gives me purpose every day. I absolutely love taking care of him and bearded dragons make wonderful pets. I won't share my digital art here as it could directly point to my real name and I'm not comfortable with that.

Anyway, thanks for having me. I look forward to getting to know people. I hope you're all having a good weekend.

[Watercolor]

Welcome, Nebula! I'm sorry for what brings you here, but it's good that you found the forum. I hope you'll feel very comfortable here.

[Jonesy]

Hi Nebula

A very warm welcome to isurvive

[Crow]

Hi Nebula,

Welcome to the community here.
Like you I joined recently to be able to talk to other survivors and possibly even help - I'd never talked to another survivor up until I joined isurvive, and so far it is so lovely to have talked to so many people that understand what I've been through and how I'm feeling. I'm hopeful you will find a lot of comfort here.

Bearded Dragon eh?! As a teenager I always wanted a Reptile for a pet but never did get one. At mid thirties I still haven't got a pet of any sort! Beardies are great pets as you say (and so my friend often tells me), and it's great that you have that joy and purpose.
I find nature and birdwatching (don't have binoculars as yet) very calming and a real escape from my anxiety and depression.
I also love to feel freedom and have an endorphin rush from longboard skateboarding! Makes me feel like a kid again - the good memories from childhood anyway.

Hope you find some good help and company here Nebula.

Take care,

Crow

[Nebula]

Thanks for the welcomes!

@Crow - I've always had pets. I feel lost without one! When I became ill, we had to give my cats to a friend because we couldn't bring them to family's house due to allergies. I went to visit them every week, paid for vet bills, litter, food, etc. Sadly they both fell ill and I had to have them put down just 5 weeks apart. It was horrible. I had always hoped we'd get back out on our own and bring our boys back home. I miss them terribly. But I am very glad to have my beardie. He really is a sweetie. Reptiles take way more care than a cat or dog, and since I'm home all day it gives me something to do. He certainly makes me smile, too! They have a lot of personality and typically get along very well with humans (or at least tolerate us lol). I'd be lost without him.

[coconuts]

Welcome.. sorry for the experiences that bring you here but glad you found your way. I have found a lot of reassurance here as well as some purpose. I feel like i can maybe offer support to others on this journey too.

Your bearded dragon sounds very cool. Glad he has you and you have him.

Coconuts

[quixote]

Nebula,
I like your name. You'll see we have quite a community here. People are easy to talk to.
quixote

[heavenlydove]

Hi nebula,

Welcome to this forum. Hope you will feel at ease here. Like you, I am a survivor of physical, emotional, and verbal abuse. I have had two friends suffering with schizophrenia, one got it in her teenage years, the other from smoking weed at uni (but suffering with other issues too). Must be hard dealing with hallucinations of an auditory type. Sorry to hear your schizophrenia came back after 5-6 years of doing well. It's just one of those things that can happen.

Glad you have got a nice pet like a bearded dragon - I love lizards! I had a tortoise for 25 years and she is still missed. I now have a lovely dog to keep me company, who was so essential for my wellbeing during lockdown.