My First Post

[ajei]

It's good to meet you HoneyBadger.

ajei

[LifeReboot]

Welcome, HoneyBadger,
U blew me away with ur courage: "remembering, grieving, facing fear, and beginning to rediscover who I am again."

I, too, am mid-lfe, repressed Ch Ab. Complex ptsd swamped me seemingly "outta nowhere" and I get the courage it takes to bail ur boat for dear life and sanity.
What amazing bravery! Reaching out for help lowered the amount of water in my boat to a gentle lapping at my sneakers;
I could put away the scuba gear, haha

Goodluck as u reach for support, as the Truth of You unfolds, in wondrous ways.
U got this!

[Elizabeth]

Welcome to isurvive. I'm sorry for what you've been through. But, found your way here. This is a very safe and supportive group.
Take care, Elizabeth

[Magpie]

Welcome, we are all on the same journey, which has been comforting and gives me strength in times of need x

[HoneyBadger]

Thank you, ajei, LifeReboot, Elizabeth and Magpie! I appreciate everyone's kindness and support. I hope that I can support your healing, too!

[quixote]

HoneyBadger,
I know how life can change after the memories start to come back. Hang in there and keep posting!
quixote

[Kiwimango]

ST MARKED FOR ONLY TWO SENTENCES. IF NEED, SKIP TO LAST FULL PARAGRAPH

Hey, I know it's frustrating to have memories years later. I don't understand what age has to do with anything, but the brain does many confusing things. I didn't have flashbacks when I was with my husband, but how can you have flashbacks and suffer the aftermath if you're still living it?

Most of my childhood is blocked out, as well. I remember a lot of things from about 18 months old until about 5 or six years old. Then things are pretty much a blur for up to about 8 1/2 years old. After that, all my memories are hit and miss.r

It is possible that I could remember stuff later as well as you do. I learned in Psychology class that everything you do of all five senses gets stored in your brain, but your brain decides what is stored in the conscious memory or somewhere else. Some things are stored to never be remembered again. Some things are stored to only be brought up when you need it. That is not to say that some things "thrown out the window" will not be triggered in any sort of fashion, as the brain is one of the strangest places on earth. They don't say, "I've been to the state of confusion, and I'm the governor" for no reason.

But my advice is to remember things that overpower or focus on things that don't trigger the same way. My husband used to burn me with hot bath water or freeze me in a cold shower. Whenever I take showers or baths, do dishes, or do any chore involving water, I get petrified. I learned, "don't focus on the temperature wondering if the water is appropriately hot enough to dissolve scum. Instead I focus on what I am trying to do such as, "where do I start? should I do the spoons first?" "I will feel better when I get these tomato soup stains off the stove." "Do I have enough baking soda in my water to clean the trash residue off the walls?"

Things like that.

[quixote]

HoneyBadger,
I like coming here too. This is a safe site for everyone.
quixote

[GrowingTree]

welcome