if i move backwards, i fall off a cliff into my past. i’m a scared child, i’m a pre teen hiding razors in tissue boxes, i’m a young adult hospitalized.
if i move forwards i’m thrown down a never ending spiral of hellish thoughts.
so i stand here, sinking into the ground, letting it happen because taking a step in any direction is terrifying.
the devil stares at me and i stare right back. i think to myself, “this is how it ends for me.”
i let him devour me, swallowed whole.
paralyzed
Moderator: Jonesy
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paralyzed
why shouldn't i live as God in a glowing canyon?
my life could be a fruit bowl with my hand in
stuck with arrows, tarred and feathered
in a tigers jaw, loving, living raw
i'll get my truce through open stare and steady open palms
my life could be a fruit bowl with my hand in
stuck with arrows, tarred and feathered
in a tigers jaw, loving, living raw
i'll get my truce through open stare and steady open palms
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- Joined: Mon Aug 15, 2011 12:41 am
Re: paralyzed
kc,
Tough spot to be in. I get it. It can feel like you have no way to get anywhere safe, so you freeze where you are. And that place, or maybe the staying still, is ultimately fatal.
I see courage and strength in your words, a facing down of fear, or the devil.
Fortunately, you’re still here with us for real.
Tough spot to be in. I get it. It can feel like you have no way to get anywhere safe, so you freeze where you are. And that place, or maybe the staying still, is ultimately fatal.
I see courage and strength in your words, a facing down of fear, or the devil.
Fortunately, you’re still here with us for real.
All women are beautiful. Period.
I deserve better than survival.
I deserve better than survival.
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Re: paralyzed
thank you for your kind words, there. i appreciate you...
why shouldn't i live as God in a glowing canyon?
my life could be a fruit bowl with my hand in
stuck with arrows, tarred and feathered
in a tigers jaw, loving, living raw
i'll get my truce through open stare and steady open palms
my life could be a fruit bowl with my hand in
stuck with arrows, tarred and feathered
in a tigers jaw, loving, living raw
i'll get my truce through open stare and steady open palms
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- Member
- Posts: 5839
- Joined: Mon Mar 28, 2016 2:34 am
Re: paralyzed
Sometimes I think I have to just stand there and let to wash over me. Like a tsunami. I might be bruised and gasping for air afterwards but I've learned it passes. Somehow, some way it passes.
I'm sorry you are feeling so stuck and trapped by all this. Trauma sucks.
I'm sorry you are feeling so stuck and trapped by all this. Trauma sucks.
Be the Light in someone's night.
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Re: paralyzed
thank you coconuts. trauma does suck. i think you’re right though. i just need to get through this episode. let it happen, like you’re supposed to do during a panic attack.
why shouldn't i live as God in a glowing canyon?
my life could be a fruit bowl with my hand in
stuck with arrows, tarred and feathered
in a tigers jaw, loving, living raw
i'll get my truce through open stare and steady open palms
my life could be a fruit bowl with my hand in
stuck with arrows, tarred and feathered
in a tigers jaw, loving, living raw
i'll get my truce through open stare and steady open palms