Physical abuse

[facingmytruth]

I have been told many times over the last few years I dismiss or don't admit the abuse I suffered . And I know that's true. But how hard is that to admit? That makes one have to face the past, and all one has suffered, I never saw it as suffering, I saw it as part of My life, part of me.part that I had to deny, but a part of me that I know I have to face.at times I don't no how to face that.most of my life has been dismissing the facts. I still don't no how to do that , but I know I want too.i know I'm ready.the question I ask myself is who am i.and most importantly who am I left with as a person? I don't ask for anyone to help , but am falling, and I need someone to catch me, I want to face all this , but I won't allow myself to fail.im too strong.am still standing.and it's how I will remain.but you m scared

[there]

I tried to respond to the other thread, but it wouldn’t let me.

[there]

Okay, again.
facingmytruth, it’s been a While. Good to see you.

It seems we just tough things out, say, ‘that’s life’, and learn to be strong.

You are strong. Feeling the feelings about abuse takes some time, and you don’t have to do it all at once. Maybe it’s not even possible to.

It is normal to feel scared, and it takes your strength. It’s also a strength to say you need some help.

Here, listening.

[coconuts]

I think when we downplay the abuse we sell ourselves short of admitting that what was done to us really did cause harm. It's not that we deserve pity. But we do deserve healing. I think if we look at a broken arm like a simple bruise we will never get the full benefit of healing. If we face it and treat it for what it was, we can find that peace.

I often think we downplay abuse too because we feel shame for it. We look at it from adult eyes. As if we should have somehow been able to prevent or lessen the extent. Shame is a major emotion with abuse.

It's hard to face. But I believe worth the journey.

[fiercecheetah]

Hi facingmytruth,

I totally understand your perspective but as others have pointed out acknowledging the abuse is crucial. It is first step towards healing it. You can't work towards healing something if you don't acknowledge something went wrong in first place.

That does not mean we should wallow in self pity. As you said, it's part of who we are. We are the sum of our experiences. I think I am very tenacious and it has lot to do with what I went through in my childhood. I wish I would have not gotten that quality the hard way, but what happened to me was out of my control.

Sending good wishes your way

[Watercolor]

For so long, we may have felt we had to just steam ahead, endure, absorb pain and get through life. Showing pain or perceived weakness didn't feel ok. Then when we go to heal, allowing ourselves to name the abuse and to feel our real feelings about things doesn't come naturally. Not at all. That resistance is understandable and as has been said, it can't be dismantled in a day. It can also be really hard work.

Reading and caring. You and your pain and your healing journey matter much!

[there]

hi, fmt,
I just want to clarify something I wrote. Too late to edit it.

I meant to say that maybe it's not possible to feel all the feelings right away. I do believe it's possible to feel all one's feelings.

Thinking of you, facingmytruth.

[jimscarlet]

You've already been through it for real,this time will be in imagination and emotional
for sake of rest of life. It is debt you owe to dearest self--pay it!
Deepest Respect,
jimscarlet