Schrodingers Victim and the Goldilocks Paradigm

[Closeyclo]

"Be calm" they told 16 year old me.
He will try to make you doubt yourself.
Get under your skin.
He will make you confused and angry.
But you, the child, you have to remain calm against the trained adult trying to smear you.
And when it was over, when he was free from shackles and my own were forged, they had the audacity to tell me "you should have cried".
Clearly I'm Schrodingers victim.
Both calm and not calm.
Until such time as they open the box and decide my fate.
Who made such arbitrary tick boxes?
A victim is lying, unless she's calmly crying at the stand.
Was it a certain number of tears?
Would an usher have held a measuring jug to my face to measure the volume of liquid falling?
A millilitre to integrity ratio?
Too little tears, liar. Too many tears, liar.
You need just the right amount, but with no noise or shouting or any other form of distress. Just right.
The Goldilocks paradigm.
3 percent conviction rate has little to do with individual stories, and everything to do with stereotype.
Society provides the tiniest of boxes to fit into to be a believable victim.
And I've never been a good contortionist.

[Jonesy]

I hear you

[there]

I had to look up ‘Schrodinger’!
What your words suggest to me is all about power. The abuser, then society or the legal system seem to have the upper hand by not needing to believe you. It puts the onus on you prove you’re a ‘worthwhile’ victim, or a victim at all.
You need to be believed and they don’t need to believe you.
‘3% conviction rate...’ wow, didn’t know the precise figure and it’s pathetic.
Which leads me to believe that telling one’s Individual story however, to whomever, is meaningful and significant.

[coconuts]

Wow. A lot of thoughts poured into and out of this. I can relate to and understand so much in my own way. We aren't listened to or believed and there is some stereotype of what a victim should look like and act like and what an abuser should look like and act like. So much to be angry over. So much injustice.

[Zaki]

This was a good text. Is that what it's called? My English is still slightly rusty in areas but you probably get what I mean. I also related a bit to it. It was good written it really caught me and made me stop and actually read it from beginning to end.

[Flifflo]

Hello Closeyclo,

I love your description of the perfect victim and measuring tears. Who is more judged than a victim? I hear you and I believe you.

Flifflo

[Byby]

This is an amazing poem and you have managed to beautifully shine a much needed light on a crucial issue. I feel like this poem needs to be shared and go viral so that the world can see how absurdly twisted victim stereotyping is.

[Crow]

I know this was written a while ago now, but wow! That is a brilliant piece of work, and an appalling truth portrayed at the same time.

Crow