reishas 2019 thread

[EasyStreet]

reisha,

Your tectonic plates may be moving, eh? Sounds like in a really good way! Do you believe in grace as well as works? Odd question, I know. But wondering . Nothing to do with a church, just concepts. I totally believe you've put in the work! Not saying that at all, I'm saying do you think things inside began running at a more "essential" rhythm, that could maybe allow some other kind of changes that go beyond the specifics of the individual things that you have done to work on yourself, an interaction of all those factors, an emergent property that is you. WOW! ????????

My Advice? Take vitamins and don't over fertilize. <this is EasyStreet's attempt at humor and is not intended to disturb anyone, esp. you.>

Keep on Truckin', reisha!

[reisha]

Lol easy!
Um... i think ..... maybe(?!)
Hehe

Thanx, there, courage, coconuts

Hey! Hi! Welcome, {noname!}

This wk...... is it almost over yet?
I just couldna go dt a 3rd day inna row. Plus,i wasna feelin well. Social security closes at noon on wed, so i dinna even try. HAD to do ittoday, as my re-cert appt was at 2pm. Got back just in time, & yay, me! Passed alla em. So, *should* be stress free from this nonsense for a full yr.

Been thinkin lots bout this Healin idea. What does Wellness look like, for me. Well, theres still lots of work to do, but it occured to methat ive got probly 18 craftsman pro sized toolboxes fulla tools & trix, many of which are unused & dusty. ( which kinda relates to what Easy said). But im also thinkin bout ..... how i carry myself, how i 'present'. Am i hunched over, or standin/sittin tall? Is my facial expression open, inviting, or angry, frowning? Am i (not) guzzlin my 4+ 'slops' a day, eatin at least 1 'real' meal each day? Keepin up w basic hygene? Am i gettin any exercise? Am i reachin out to friends,returnin calls? Am i honorin my creativity? Spirituality? ( Goin To 'Church' was so much easier when i was workin, lol - esp if it was a 'hippie band').This, & so much more/other.

So, yeah, easy, ya mite be rite. All this stuff, finally kinda gellin t'gether, maybe, hopefully. I also think theres alotta validity, & truth to .... i think im just begainnin to feel safe, secure. Ive been here 3 yrs now, after bout 4 & 1/2 yrs of (technicall) homelessness. Couch surfin & a live in helper (even as i need one myself) b4 experiencing 'transitional housing' - which was extremely traumatic!. Truly, i spent mosta my 1st yr here secretly cowering, shaking that trauma off. & i guess it kinda ('kinda?!!!) Got to be a bad habit, one im willin to consider breakin. Or, maybe im finally gettin tired, bored of Stayin In Bed. So, we'll see how it goes. I planto spend the remainder of summer 't free', maybe take it to oct ( my bmonth)& reevaluate then. I will have completed my 60th yr, & finally get to claim it. & really, just how long am i plannin, wantin to dick around w this 'unwell'label?
Like i siad, we'll see. But i kinda figger, if not now, when?

Thank y'all SO much, for .... just everything. This is the most 'real' place on the web, & i am so grateful.
{{{{{Isurvive!!!!!}}}}}}

[EasyStreet]

It was just a joke, reisha! I'm thinking about vitamins(mostly about minerals) for my diet these days, and that joke manifested from that.

Be well,

[reisha]

I gott that, easy - no worries!!
But i gotta question for ya - since yer musical tatses include deadhead, usin the same logic, was yer milatary career as a jarhead?
<dukkinNrunnin>

^thats^ my warpped mind makin a joke, so ... bakatcha!

[coconuts]

Eavesdropping and laughing..

I've got lots of tool boxes too. Some of those tools are more useful than others.

I love that you are finding safety and security in where you are at. What a great place to be.

[dancingfish]

I like your thoughts of Wellness, reisha! Also think that perhaps this emerges as you are, finally, feeling safer. Found something similar for myself, upon reflection. :) (At least, I *thought* I was looking after myself before, but with time and effort realised there was a lot more I could do to feel whole, better about self, and noting "little" needs and wants. Still finding my way there, mind.)

Glad to hear these thoughts you have, though! Sending a whole lot of caring, wellness, kindness and love right back at you. :) {{{sha(h) of rei!}}}

[EasyStreet]

Not a jarhead, reisha, ! you guessed wrong. I had a good Marine joke but I don't want to open that can of worms! I have mad respect for many jarheads.
May sunshine and gentle breezes head your way.

[Couragetoday]

Hi reisha,

I really liked how holistic your approach to wellness is that you described. It seems to cover all the areas of life that are important to you. It reminds me of the “acceptance and commitment therapy“. Kind of evaluating all the things (I think they call it a value compass or something like that) that are important to you, and then finding ways to engage in and honour the things that matter most to you.

Reading along, supporting.

CT

[reisha]

Thank ya, friends, for yer replies.

Ct, ive not familar w that form of therapy, i will lok it up.

See my pcp today (yet another trip dt!). Havna seen her in ... ? Quite a while. (Been w her a lil over a yr) she threw a poopload of stuff at me, most of which i ignored, choosin instead to focus on my MH. <snirt!> & we all know how well Thats worked out! I rejected her multiple pleas for mmogram - it triggers rape flashbacks. ( my rapist was particularly brutal to my breasts). Plus, i am VERY small breated, & have VERY deep armpits. Techs have probs gettin the machine posistioned, often pullin skin up from my ribs, or around from my back. It ALWAYS leaves marks, oftten bruises. & they usually 'find sumtin' that requires the ultrasound to determine its another cyst. So, lets just skip the squish & go straight to the ultrasound. I begged her to 'scribe ultrasound instead. She argues that the 2 tests find diff things, its important to a. YEARLY 'titsquish' (as i call it). I arque back, citing studies that suggest every 2yrs, &other ones that kinda .... debunk mmogrms in favor of other methods. Nope, she believes as she does. So, we're in major conflict there.

Im due for another skin cancer check - had a lil basal cel on my face bout 15-20 yrs ago - they zapped it, easy peasy; & ive have multiple 'pre-cancerous' spots zapped since then. Ido keep up w this one, various cancers run in my foo.

I lagged on the sleep study (& replacin my c-crap machine [yes, c-CRAP!]) Cuz it requires ....coordinating rides, pet care, blahblah. i think it was There who sugested the 'c-crap' . I call it that, cuz ive yet to find a mask that fits, dunna leak, or cause blisters/raw spots.

Ive NOT done well w the slop. There a days when im just not hungrey, dont 'eat' at all. Days where i get *sum* slop, or food down, but not nearly enuff. However, i am now holdin fairly steady at around 91 - 92 lbs, instead of the fluxuations, droppin down to the the high 80's. &, i dunno - ive always ben slim, but now im gaunt - themed term im gonna mispell-its sumtin like chaecotic. & i do wonder bout ..... if each lb is more critical for me (DUH!) Than for sumone losin weight. She wants me to get a stomach tube. Its been suggested by a few drs over the yrs. Ive resisted, it just dunna seem like a good idea to me. Im also worried bout ..... upkeep, complications, infections. &, if im honest, i think it means ... more 'decreptitude', weak, 'old & sick'. & afriad it puts me closer to death. Which, as i type this sounds really stupid.

There mite be a few other 'minor' things ive overlooked too, but ^those^ are the *main* issues.
It'll be a bit scary, & 'contencious' as we argue stuff out. I will tell her she threw way too much at me, i was overwhelmed. Lets deal w one thing at a time. I WILL get a titsquish this yr, but not til fall ( when i do em, around my bmonth). &, i wanna get the damn c-crap machine, whatever sleep improvement it mite offer. - oh! The new sleep med is helping!!!
Kinda funny, not inna haha way, cuz my orig reason for the appt was to get referral for the 'wellness center', so i can chiro. Its only been since i made the appt that it dawned on me that by seein her, we were gonna be havin ~a *conVERsation*~.

Anyway, i gotta start gettin ready - hope everyones havin a decent day!
{{{Isurvive!!!!}}}

[EasyStreet]

c-crap!

Hahahahahahagagagagagahahahahahahhahah!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My cpap is my best freind, reisha! I am the king of compliance. Even though I hate it, it keeps me alive. I get lots of allergies and end up breathing through mouth all night. Ugh! I hate that. But I'd be dead now otherwise. Diagnosed 15-20 years ago.

But a big hassle to get a new machine! I know all about that.

Sorry about your mammogram issues. I'll end up getting a DRE (don't ask if you don't know) the next time my PSA gets checked. Well, we are above ground.

Wishing you sea breezes.