I think EMDR processing is changing me.

[Flifflo]

Something really amazing happened tonight. My husband said something that in the past would have made my heart start racing and I wouldn’t have been able to let it go and then I would visibly be upset or say something. Then my husband would react to that and it would all spin out of control and I would leave the house........ but this time..... I just didn’t get upset. I said my piece without my heart racing. In the past I couldn’t do that. It’s like I couldn’t disagree with someone without my body going into overdrive. Hyper vigilance, I guess. It was really amazing. It feels so good!!!!!!!

Just wanted to share. Thanks for listening
Flifflo

[coconuts]

Yay. That's great. It's trickling outwards and helping. I love it

[Flifflo]

Thanks Coconuts,

It seems like a small thing but it feels huge to me. That heart pounding thing has always come so easily to me in the face of conflict. I think it’s hangover from my people pleasing tendencies I learned in order to get attention from my father. Conflict has always felt like a potential end of things. Because that’s what it would have been/was with my father.

And I couldn’t have articulated any of this a couple months ago. Understanding these things is definitely helpful but actually being able to have control over my reaction? It’s huge for me. HUGE. And makes me feel hopeful.

And I remembered seeing this forum and thought this fit here. First time I’ve been here at all. Tonight I’m feeling some relief. Thanks for listening,
Flifflo

[Booklover]

Wow that’s great. I want to have EMDR but am being told no at the moment

[Flifflo]

Hello Booklover, It’s interesting. I’m hearing lots of different approaches to EMDR. My therapist seems to be happy to dig right in. I think she just goes with whatever I feel like doing. I haven’t had to back off. Tho I do have a hard time sticking with focusing on my abuser so I don’t know what that means for me. It really has helped stuff come up that I couldn’t get to. And slowly, I am noticing little changes in the way I react/respond/relate to people. It’s a really good thing.

[coconuts]

Flifflo, from what I understand people have different ways of approaching it all. My t said some dive right into the deep and he said others are very conservative. I know it also depends on if you have problems with dissociation and how big those problems are and what exactly they are. And yes they will often trickle off i to seemingly unrelated areas but I think lots of things are connected we don't realize.

I'm so glad you are seeing the benefit of it.

[reisha]

{{{Flifflo!!!}}}

What wonderful news!
Im happpy to read that this treatment is producin such positive results for ya.
It IS huge, that ya recognize the ...'changes in reactivity' w in yerself.
Good Work!!!

Sendin tons of admiration & continued support

[Flifflo]

Coconuts,

I totally understand how someone who dissociates would have to go slowly. I was kind of wondering if my t was trying to rush me but I think I’m doing ok with it all.

{{{Reisha!!!}}} Thank you!

Thanks for the support everyone. Still have lots to process but feeling pretty well today.
Thanks for listening,
Flifflo