Hi There,
Maybe you got the wrong thread
I wasn't discussing Pete Walker's book here.
But just to summarize no one can undo harm of or make a disclaimer for:
1. Implying/stating that BPD is a form of uncurable narcissism ( contrary an import reason for Judith Herman t create the cPTSd dx)
2. making a disclaimer that addicts need to find help else where and don't really belong to the 'scope' of what he is addressing
3. Not bothering to understand complex traumatic disassociation in the slightest
4. seperating 'good' and 'bad' survivors by creating an arbitrary self diagnostic, but value riven framework.
5. And as such, by shoving these core issues aside, Appropriating cPTSD to exclusively talk about emotional healing, thus erasing the more complex experiences of other survivors, even the nature of flashbacks being grossly over simplified and exclusive,
5.And misusing a label that was about ending the silence around incest and child sexual abuse, compounded long term 'unspeakable traumas and and atrocity. But at the same time giving us all tools that should be 'universally' applicable and fix us.
Some of what he says I really like.... yet it falls woefully short of helping me deal with or even identify my cPTSD. And wondering why this label even applies to me anymore because it is so far away form my experiences and reality - even though I share this dx with many other people who have suffered severe compounded trauma.
Yes sorry even the pre 4 years old neglect and emotional distance which can cause children to nearly die is extreme and I think can cause cPTSD. But saying that degrees and implying there is a specturm and staying on the very 'lite' and incomplete end of that spectrum is not cool.
I do think people need to learn not to center their own experiences all the time and try genuinely listening and feeling with others, to make space for those experiences. As well as having some kind of transparent and accountable research method when addressing survivors of developmental trauma. Sure we can use our own experiences to help us empathize, and try to help others. And all of our experiences are valuable., but we don't really get to understand others that way, because we are limited and we need to expand our understanding and tools. It's like people saying hey it's all in the past. they want to help and they can remember times when they were able to move on... not saying this is what PW is doing , but it's a very close approximate.
I think there is a lot that appears counter intuitive to us about childhood trauma simply because so much of what happens is a taboo topic and people are just not comfortable facing it, Whether they are unaware, or even have experienced themselves, and are in denial. So intuitive work alone often strikes some important chords but continually falls short because it is too subjective. And it bothers me even more that people feel a need to not mention or de-center more severe traumatization to legitimize their own pain and care - like oh 'those' people, well they are not really human they are the statistics, the 'extremes' or 'outliers', and this is what happens to those of 'us' who are in fact 'normal'/human/belong. It also assumes that our experiences are unrelatable or too 'shocking'. If I can find wisdom in Pete Walker I am sure he could derive wisdom from survivors like me. (In fact, an unaffected person, deriving wisdom from survivors like me is where the dx comes/ arises from.)
It is such a familiar pattern. that those with lives that matter most, still feel like they don't matter, and resent any attempt to take the full attention of their audience and community from them, or to share their platforms. It feels like Levine or Walker almost take offense by movements like those set in motion by people Llke Judith Herman to care for and address some of the most unaddressed, least represented, least understood and marginalized survivors, continually misdiagnosed and mistreated in the mental health system, but who are actually present in epidemic proportions in our society. ( Walker even invites everyone to skip the first part of "trauma and recovery". which is about this, and just get to the 'relevant' second part.)
It's like saying all lives matter, to the black lives matter movement. If all lives did matter there wouldn't be a need to point out the way social injustice operates. So while everyone experiences oppression in some form in our sick society, it is not as life threatening to some as it is to others and it's good for all of us to address inequality. It's liberating for us all. But erasing those differences is just more oppression.
I hear you on being in the same city as Herman, but not seeing that reflected in the care you got, or being part of the group she could see falling between the many cracks and bad practices in the system. I am in the country with the best known experts in the field of traumatic dissociation, but one of the worst places in the world to get help for that. Long story...
Anyhow there. I really like, ( in an always feeling uncomfortable way and like I will be attacked way), talking about this stuff. I also like connecting with you. But I have to add it does not feel good that you reply with this topic on this thread. I feel unseen. And feel like people might be only taking me on a very superficial level.
I'm genuinely sorry for all my wordiness... that makes it hard to connect or relate to or even read what I say.
EH
in someone's night.