I have come far

[ChipmunksRunFree]

(Contains stuff about sexuality)





I've been reflecting on some things. maybe this will give hope to someone.

I can't believe that somehow I really really adore men. I trust and respect them, and they feel comfortable with me. they say I'm easy to talk to.

I'm really good at healthy emotional intimacy, and am able to completely open my heart with love and trust. (How in god's name?)

I have pretty good self-esteem and self-worth.... it was horrible just a few years ago, though.

Most of all, I'm amazed by my healthy sexuality, and of being able to really love and enjoy sex, so much so that I've learned to orgasm with a man at the first intimate encounter. (I wasn't able to have sex at all for 30 years!) I love and am comfortable with my body, and I love the masculine body, and sex organs don't freak me out at all now. I still get triggered on certain occasions, however.

Also, I have known true love. Wouldn't have known if I wasn't ready and open.

Sorry if this is TMI... Just needed to share. Thank you!!

:fireworks

[ChipmunksRunFree]

did I frighten people away??

[Jonesy]

Hi ChipmunksRunFree

Absolutely not! This is an awesome post to read, way to go my friend.

[greendiva23]

Hi ChipmunksRunFree,

This is amazing news! I hope you are every single bit as proud of yourself as you should be!:)

I think sex is absolutely beautiful in the right setting/situation and I am so happy that you get to enjoy it like that.

Thanks for sharing!

Greendiva

[there]

I'm glad you posted this. It does give me hope. I did really like sex, then was shamed for that by different people who were supposed to be supportive, then adult SA and every kind of A. Have moved far away from having sex for a few years>i found the wrong kind of guy to attach myself to and with bad timing. NOt blaming myself. Just had so much grief after the year with him. A year of grief. And then I kind of recklessly let someone get me drunk, had sex, then felt triggered badly because he was ready to take his issues out on me. I left very fast. My T at the time had no empathy, said' Well, you made the choice.'
She was a gem.
Sorry for the bad stuff in your positive thread here, though, chipmunks.

But I am glad that I've stayed away from relationships for a while, cuz I need to keep learning self-care. I found out that a relationship was not going to teach me that, or replace it, hard as that lesson is to me.

You give me hope though, that at some point I may enjoy finding a guy again. This time, I will be more sure of his character and intentions.