SELF-COMPASSION

[quixote]

jimscarlet,
What a good suggestion! I did have a chance to visit her website and watch one of her videos. She talked about the differences between self-esteem and self-compassion.
quixote

[hummingbird]

Kristin Neff's book and THE MINDFUL PATH TO SELF-COMPASSION by Christopher Germer have become more and more important for me in my moment-to-moment experience. Self-compassion and radical self-acceptance (from DBT training) are practices I've found to be life saving!

I'm not in therapy right now so I'm having to rely on myself to be there for myself, and I'm slowly working with whatever comes up. I'm here for myself in ways I've never known I could be. I'm less frightened by what I'm feeling and more comfortable in my daily activities. These practices give me a workable way to reparent my aching inner child.

[recover]

hi jimscarlet and all,
i never come here really and stopped by today. i googled kristen neff and took the self-compassion test and no shock i am not self-compassionate at all. duh. reading through the website was really intense and i was crying. i like so much of what she says. i know i have parts that absolutely want no part of any of that. but reading it helped. thanks so much.
recover

[hummingbird]

Hugs for you, recover, if it's okay. We all need and deserve our self-compassion.

[jimscarlet]

You were crying Recover,because you recognize the truth.
That yes,you deserve your own compassion,and that you
were not providing it. In short,GOOD TEARS!
Kindest Thoughts,
jimscarlet

[recover]

oh thank you so much jimscarlet and hummingbird, so appreciate you.
this has made me think about lots of things and realize lots of things. i may start a thread about it on the dissociative disorders forum later. i was diagnosed with DID about 2 years ago after a lifetime struggle with all sorts of self-harm and sufferings. i realized stuff reading this this morning that i think could help me. gotta go, will try to share more later on a new thread.
thank you so much, you really helped me today.
much gratitude,
recover

[jimscarlet]

Oh,Recover, you are such a gentle soul,
I send you my prayers and kindness and
courage.

[hummingbird]

Hi jimscarlet and recover, I so appreciate you both and your good, tender hearts!

I realized today that the self-compassion practice is opening my heart and putting me in touch with my grief. In Kristin Neff's book she writes about this. I know that the more compassionate I am toward myself, the more I get in touch with what really happened and how barren of love my childhood was. This is painful and difficult, but I really want to be here for myself now, and I'm willing to stay present with myself and comfort myself as I face the truth.

I'm a grandma now, but I know that I was not ready to go through this at any earlier time in my life. I just was not strong enough then to bear the pain that I split off from. Even now it takes all my life force and focus to do this. But this has become my purpose now, to be here for the child and girl and woman I was and am. To be on my own side and to care for and comfort myself.

I'm always afraid to post about this, for fear I'm somehow in trouble and "doing it all wrong." But if I listen within I know that this is what I need now. And it's okay to give myself what I need. (Scarey to write this!)

[jimscarlet]

Greetings HB,
Thank you for your kind words. And,you are absolutely on right track.
Allow me to also mention that as WELL as this work,it is recommended for nearly
everything,that we delve into and learn how to raise our self-esteem.And to do that,
there is no better than Nathaniel Branden,psychologist,who also in his writing does
go into our childhood and its effects; he is the recognized master on this subject,and
I GUARANTEE you will attain great benefit from his writings. Here is 2 of his books
I recommend: "Honoring The Self", and "The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem".

Please know it is NOT selfish or anything like that to make healing the self our primary
goal,or as I put it,nothing is more important than 'me and me'. If WE are OK,everything,
and every one in our lives,benefits. My ultimate goal for sometime now,has been self-love;
if we can achieve that,justice will have been done for our little ones,and ourselves.
Blessings,
jimscarlet