Recognizing the Damage - q&a's on personal power - Q3

[Forestfairy7]

The Courage to Heal, by Ellen Bass & Laura Davis.

Q.) Do you feel different from other people?
A.) Yes, in good *and* bad ways... then again I got pretty mixed messages about my uniqueness... Most being that something was "wrong" with me and that I either needed fixing or was just innately defected and would always need to depend on someone (my family and teachers were the main ones feeding that delusion, and my classmates fed it more). I only recall being praised (for being different and for the deeper me that is unique in beautiful ways) by my aunt and a great aunt (well, she was the best friend of my maternal grandmother, but we call her aunt also) on my mom's side, and later on the mother of a high school friend. Two of them are survivors also, not sure if the other is or not. Oh, and a male teacher I had my last couple years in high school. Nonetheless I find myself being the odd-one-out that my peers and bosses talk *about* (usually in a quieter tone than when they talk about other stuff, and usually in the same way my family did... "I think something's wrong with her", and using really stupid minor things I either did wrong or just differently than they're used to, or that I'm "slow" or just unpeggably weird) but rarely talk *to*, except when I try to be sociable, and the whole time it's like they're staring at me like I'm a freak and trying to read me instead of just being friendly and getting to know the real me and eventually having an understanding of who I am and that I'm a good person who's just struggling and pines for nurturing and advocacy and encouragement (the non-condescending kind).

[recover]

hi forestfairy7,
sending support as you work through these questions. here with you.
with caring,
recover

[quixote]

Forestfairy7,
I can identify with your answer. It's better to be talked to than be talked about.
quixote

[Forestfairy7]

Thanks, R & Q