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Frustreated as taken as a newbie

Posted: Wed Jun 08, 2016 8:50 am
by silentmoon
Frustrated over that when I am in these forums I am taken as a newbie about the abuse.... Since I haven´t been long here. (well... actually I have been here several years ago, and now I am back) I have been dealing with it so many years at different therapists and also come a long way on my journey. I do have from time to time different issues that comes up to discussions. Like now when I after over twenty years since I told them I know what happened as a child, finally have told my brother (he has two young dauthers) and now started to discuss the abuse with my mom. Still I have the actual abuse locked in to lockers for now. Can´t anymore remember any details. Finally! Now I´ve got different issues to deal with. And yes, I am frustrated! lol

Re: Frustreated as taken as a newbie

Posted: Wed Jun 08, 2016 4:23 pm
by Harmony
Dear silentmoon,

Many of us join isurvive with YEARS of healing work behind us. What I learned in my past 7 years here and in therapy is lightyears ahead of what I learned in the past 30. Yep I have over 37 years of trying to fix the damage of the past. It took that long to unlock some stuff in my story.

Lots of isurvive members including "newbies" are in the same boat with years of work behind them. Remember you are only a newbie when it comes to isurvive membership. I hope over time you will make friends with others here who share your experience. It takes a long time for us to trust even one another. Give it time. You can't always be a newbie.

On the other hand I think it is the buddhist philosophy that embraces the "beginner's mind". The beginner's mind is one open to new experience and learning. With that in focus let us all remain beginners or newbies as much as possible. I hope you understand me here as I speak with all respect for your process. Thanks for sharing your frustrations. You are heard and believed. That alone might help you unlock the past to be healed. I totally get that I'm not a newbie feeling. I felt it too when I arrived at isurvive.

with all care,
Harmony

Re: Frustreated as taken as a newbie

Posted: Wed Jun 08, 2016 10:45 pm
by Fleur
Hello silentmoon

I notice you've been a member here a couple of years or so
Understandable you feel frustrated at being thought new on site

May you enjoy a lovely day

Re: Frustreated as taken as a newbie

Posted: Fri Jun 10, 2016 7:45 pm
by silentmoon
Harmony wrote:Dear silentmoon,

Many of us join isurvive with YEARS of healing work behind us. What I learned in my past 7 years here and in therapy is lightyears ahead of what I learned in the past 30. Yep I have over 37 years of trying to fix the damage of the past. It took that long to unlock some stuff in my story.

Lots of isurvive members including "newbies" are in the same boat with years of work behind them. Remember you are only a newbie when it comes to isurvive membership. I hope over time you will make friends with others here who share your experience. It takes a long time for us to trust even one another. Give it time. You can't always be a newbie.

On the other hand I think it is the buddhist philosophy that embraces the "beginner's mind". The beginner's mind is one open to new experience and learning. With that in focus let us all remain beginners or newbies as much as possible. I hope you understand me here as I speak with all respect for your process. Thanks for sharing your frustrations. You are heard and believed. That alone might help you unlock the past to be healed. I totally get that I'm not a newbie feeling. I felt it too when I arrived at isurvive.

with all care,
Harmony
I have perhaps been "lucky" as pretty young being able to start my journey, since I had remembered everything the hole time. So far I have been here this time (last time I was here it was for almost a year I would say and I also had the same feelings then as now). That is it... when I don´t know what to post so people learn to know me more. I know where I stand with my things. And perhaps it seems that it´s time for me to start help others in some way. I know also that my journey will never be finnished, not really.

Re: Frustreated as taken as a newbie

Posted: Fri Jun 10, 2016 7:55 pm
by silentmoon
Fleur wrote:Hello silentmoon

I notice you've been a member here a couple of years or so
Understandable you feel frustrated at being thought new on site

May you enjoy a lovely day
Fleur, I was here for a couple of years ago. Though I get the idea. I really do. Perhaps I am at the point where I more would like to help others also somehow. Just don´t know how. Don´t know how to start here eg to answer etc. Well... I have to figure that out.

Re: Frustreated as taken as a newbie

Posted: Sat Jun 11, 2016 5:18 am
by Fleur
Hello silentmoon

There's no pressure to share or respond to posts here

Perhaps as you read, someone's message shall resonate with you to prompt writing

We're all on a healing journey , at different stages of recovery, however that works out for each person
I believe "recovery" is a life's effort to some extent
We also live in the present moment, so healing might be given more or less priority over time

Cheers

Re: Frustreated as taken as a newbie

Posted: Sat Jun 11, 2016 2:31 pm
by silentmoon
Fleur wrote:Hello silentmoon

There's no pressure to share or respond to posts here

Perhaps as you read, someone's message shall resonate with you to prompt writing

We're all on a healing journey , at different stages of recovery, however that works out for each person
I believe "recovery" is a life's effort to some extent
We also live in the present moment, so healing might be given more or less priority over time

Cheers
Hello Fleur, I know that there isn´t. But for some reason it seems so importent for me and my journey to be able to help others "in the same situation". I know there´s no pressure to post. But I feel the pressure of not beeing able to post (since I can´t come up with a subject)... Harder to do that without a conversation friend. If you get what I mean. Hmm... that is something I have to think about, do I live in the present moment.... How do you mean?

Re: Frustreated as taken as a newbie

Posted: Sun Jun 12, 2016 5:59 am
by Fleur
Hello silentmoon

My reference to living in the present moment simply meant today, as an adult, in 2016

We are multifaceted, life involves many aspects, healing being one area
How much importance, time, etc healing gets might alter depending on our current demands and priorities

Thanks for seeking clarification, silentmoon

Re: Frustreated as taken as a newbie

Posted: Wed Jun 15, 2016 12:23 am
by reisha
hi silentmoon

dunno if we've 'met' yet, but ive read sum-a yer posts.
i hear what yer sayin, bout the frustration.
i like that ya feel the desire/need/want to 'give back' & to help, to reach out to others. i smile to read that.
i too, often wonder ~how to/what to say~

many times, i 'chicken out' - scroll on by, continue reading, not posting. & yano what? thats ok. there is value/contemplation/learning/healing that occurs when i 'dont participate'.
its my own ... 'inner critic' syin *should/would/could*
this may not be the case for ya.
i wonder, can ya just 'jump in' to a discussion?
just ... drop-plop rite smack dab in the midst of a thread, A convo & say yer piece?
(is that ok to do!?!?!)

i think so.
i may be wrong (i aint never been wrong, but that dont make me rite!?)
my experience has been ... that its .... accepted; or 'known' - i suspect that more folx read my drivel than post to it. (or, my ~grandioise~ notions & 'meglomania' do!)
there is a ...... kindness here, a ... gentleness that lets it be ok

yet there is SOOOO much here!!! i marvel at those members who can 'answer all' - that is far too much for me. there are a few threads that i try to keep up w/ several folx i always read, even if i dont post.

it just occurs to me that i may have misinterp'd yer posts, & my words not applicable - if so, please disregard. otoh, if it furthers/expands the convo, ....

sending much support

Re: Frustreated as taken as a newbie

Posted: Wed Jun 29, 2016 3:37 am
by there
silentmoon,
I hope I haven't answered anything in your posts to frustrate you. If I have, I apologize and will try to adjust.

Thank you for saying how you feel. I think you've done it honestly and graciously.