That pit is gone

[Lydia]

I think I'm an old timer - a couple years now.

I was reading on the main forum about pain and shame. Until I got past the most miserable part of healing, I always had a deep evil feeling pit in my stomach. Just a constant awareness of darkness. It's hard to explain.

I thought about it, as I was trying to support someone else, and that pit is gone. That doesn't mean I don't get sad or feel bad about what happened, just that I don't have this heaviness inside anymore, haven't for a while now. It's awesome to realize that I really did "grieve it out".

Lydia

[SparklingDawn]

Thank you very much for sharing this. I am really happy for you, Lydia.

Love,
D

[there]

Lydia,
It's great to see your post here about the pit having left you. WooHoo!

I feel lighter in ways myself, like something that never permitted me to have myself is not sitting on top of me from dawn till night.

There are still hurts and raw feelings, but that huge mono lith isn't sitting on my chest all the time.

[Hopesnoes]

Hi
Have just read these posts and you have given me such hope. I cried tonight for the first time with my T, probably one of the first times for me to cry in the presence of another, crying for the loss of a childhood, it's so painful I can' t really find the appropriate words. I am so sad but tonight I feel warm like maybe just maybe I am not alone. Feeling childlike but could it be true that I am not alone and starting to feel! Can't believe I have been half dead, such loss! My heart is with everyone who needs to be here.
Hopesnoes with her very first glimmer of hope

[Faith]

Hi, Lydia.

Yes! I feel "lighter" than I used to, if that makes sense.

[SparklingDawn]

[smallgraces]

Lydia,
Wow do I get what you mean. I used to think I always had this evil seed in me. Something that would never go away. Over time that evil seed has gone away. I've found joy and lightness and more comfort being with other people. I don't hide feeling that everyone knows that badness that flows from me. That horrible feeling is finally gone.
thanks for sharing this,

peace,
smallgraces