What Will I Tell You

[BlueNeon]

What Will I Tell You

What will I tell you when
I will meet you again?
What will I tell you about
all these gruesome years?
Where will I find the strength,
where will I find the courage,
where will I find two arms
firm enough to hold you?
To smell your scent,
to dry those tears
that you never shed.

Will I ever have the heart
to lie to you again,
will I ever have the heart
to breathe then?
Where do you learn
to live with yourself,
where do you learn
to survive to the others ones?
Where can I learn,
where can I turn,
where can I still love you?

The world is so cold
locked in my soul.
I'm stale and I'm too old to live
I breathe and I'm too young to die.
Can you hear me, can you hear me?
Do you feel my anguish,
my need to hold you,
my spasmodic desire to have you,
to have you, to have you
for at least one minute?
Where can I, how can I?

I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.
I tried to protect you,
I craved to protect myself,
I wanted to choose me and instead,
I had nothing different
from my damnation.

[there]

BlueNeon,
Words full of seeking and questioning, struggle, sorrow. Wanting to feel, but numb.
I like the slight rhyming.
You are courageous in sharing this, BlueNeon. Thank you.

[Watercolor]

BlueNeon, I'm so sorry for your pain. For all that you've suffered.

It's powerful work, expressing things as you have. I'm sad that you need to, though.