isurvive.org

I found this list I made up when I was in prison. It was questions I wanted my clinicians and staff to read just sort of get the masking do you really think you know what I'm going through. They never bothered to even look at them.

To those who think they know what I'm dealing with, I present you with these questions:

Do you know what it's like to not fit in anywhere?
To feel like a stranger no matter where you are?
To feel isolated & unwanted everywhere?
To hide yourself where ever you go?
To be excluded, even from family events?
Do you know what it's like to be me?
Have you ever felt so neglected you wanted to be raped; just to pretend you were loved?
Got engaged with someone you didn't love, just because you hungered to feel wanted and loved?
Followed someone like a puppy on the false hope they will love you?
Watched someone you didn't know you loved storm out of a room hurt and upset because of you; & you didn't even know what happened or why you hurt so bad you're crying?

When you know all of these first hand, then you will began to have an idea of what I deal with on a day to day basis.

Hi SpiritTornApart,

Whilst I'm female, and cannot identify with all you list, I resonate with not feeling like I fit anywhere, isolated/unwanted/excluded - especially within family.

Very sad and sorry about the people not reading your thoughts written whilst in prison. In my opinion, shows much personal insight.

With care,