Psychological obesity.

[Closeyclo]

I wonder how much I'd weigh.
If I added the combined weight of all the scars I gave myself.
And all those the world left on my soul.
The anchor heavy weight of each thought.
And every crushing memory.
I wonder how much loneliness weighs.
When I want to explain but they can't understand.
I'm trapped on a solitary island of incomprehension.
Weighing down the island with the weight of my despair.
How heavy were my fallen tears?
How long before they drown me?
How much does fear weigh?
Dragging my heart down into fiery depths from which there's no escape.
Keeping me captive, weighed down by my failures.
Knowing I wont get out of this alive.
I have a psychological BMI that could break world records.
Carrying around the weight of everything I did.
Everything I was.
Everything I'm not.
I carry all my failings, fear, anger and pain.
I can't cast it off and breathe freely.
And it's unbearably exhausting.