Godspeed

[ChipmunksRunFree]

my father died long ago
so who is this person
with whom I need to hide
with whom I must betray myself
with whom there is a ghost of relating.
it's made of modeling clay
it's been melting and I can no longer barricade
the eventual downpour of fury.
I have not smiled on the phone at all
he has not caught this clue
well then, on his head be it.
he's in town and tomorrow I have to see him
barely functional
missing classes
fuck everything
if I had a gun, I would kill myself
if not for my cats
I don't care if he's got money and I don't
I would rather descend into cold, harsh streets
than continue practicing inauthenticity
a crime against crimes
and it hurts me like nothing else.
I don't want to see him
or speak to him
ever
again.
Godspeed.

[recover]

with support chipmunksrunfree,
recover