kspouse

[Lydia]

Yuck...sounds like an absolute nightmare.

[kspouse]

yes it is....i have my girls and they were asking me questions about drugs earlier.we had a good talk and they are showing signs of wanting to know certain things.we went to get something to eat and there were 2 cop cars in the parking lot with a guy on the ground handcuffed.the cops were handling him like he was resisting.my youngest noticed his eyes were glassy and he didnt want to get in the police car..she said biy daddy his eyes look all glassy like he is on drugs or something...

[Jonesy]

Hi kspouse

As I'm sure you know, you are only responsible for the choices you make. Your wife will similarly own hers.
It seems to me that the best way forward is to continue being as balanced as possible with your girls. They will learn from your example.

[kspouse]

Jonesy,thats good advise...I have heard that alot and it doesnt hurt to here it more...I do provide a stable environment for them and they seem to absorb it..My Dad and I had a talk last week and he told me they will eventually get tired of it,start to resent and hate their Mom.They know she has a problem but hard for them to accept.

[birdygirl]

Jeeez- kspouse . I'm so sorry friend . I thought I had wrote you a response. Been a lil rattled lately- sorry.
That's heartbreaking . Those sweet lil girls deserve to remain innocent until they are more mature. I'm so sorry to hear that your ex acted an ass in front of everybody. I can totally relate. Well kind of...
My ex used to humiliate me & HIS kids in public for anything . It was so embarrassing. I remember one time I painted our faces( fantasy make- up with glitter , feathers, jewels) it looked so awesome! So much fun. The kiddos looked so cute.
He started making fun of us for it ... He wouldn't even walk near us. I told the kids that he was just jealous that he didn't get his face painted like we did. I was trying to keep the kids from feeling ashamed of being creative.
He would pull " grown mantrums" often. People would feel sorry for me & his kids.
I'm sure the parents at the soccer game were looking at your ex like " drop it already".
As for the meds she's leaving out in reach of the girls . I would be very concerned. I would let your lawyer know about what the girls said. Not to mention that the ex might be getting intoxicated while the girls are with her . Im not trying to scare you but , I think the subject needs to be addressed. Does she drive the girls around when she's " under the influence"? This worries me very much . All too often we hear about car accidents where the parent was intoxicated with kids in the car. If you're afraid this is the case- I would involve the authorities . It is illegal to possess any prescriptions other than ones prescribed to yourself. If the ex is getting pills from friends at work- that is illegal & cause for concern.
I wish I could help. I'm sure you're still keeping documents of these types of events.
I hope things will go more smoothly for you. Geez- I know you could use a break.
You & those sweet girls are in my thoughts.
Sending good vibes everyday... Even when I can't post. Smile. I'm on your side friend.
((( pug hugs)))

[kspouse]

Birdy,good to here from you..She has a way of making an ass in front of pepole,not all the time buts its a pattern..Some try to smooth it over usually the ones that are in the dark like i was for so long..but i dont owe anyone explanations either..its a shame to say but lawyer nor anyone else cant do anything about her intoxication if she is with the girls unless she gets caught...always inocent until proven guilty....All the rx drugs are prescribed to herself from 3-4 different docs...The path she is taking will lead her down though..i can see it happening,a pill for everything like she is losing control.

[birdygirl]

Hey Kspouse- wrote you a response this morning but my " not smart phone " wouldn't send it - then it got deleted. Geeeeez!
I'm so sorry the ex has been " showing her true colors" especially in public. You're right if the meds are prescribed to her then no harm no foul. But, if she's " Dr shopping" without making all drs aware of other prescriptions she's been taking then- THAT is illegal.
I speak from experience when I tell you if you fear for your daughters safety while in her care or especially in her car- then you would be doing the right thing by reporting her. I had to do the same with a very close friend. She was mixing pills and driving with her girls in the car. After a public berating of her husband{ who I didn't really like} , daughters , and myself. I tried to pull her aside discretely to address my concerns for her kiddos safety . She screamed at a children's festival..,
" mind your own business- you don't have any kids!! hell- you CAN'T have any kids- f@*+ you!" directed at me.
It was all I could do not to go all Berzerker on her. She was aware of my " female / reproductive" problems. For me that was an especially low blow.
She insisted on taking the girls and she was obviously pilled up. The second she cranked the car I called the police and reported her.
To make a long story short- she was arrested for DUI, possession of a controlled substance, and child endangerment . Fast forward 5 or so years... During a month long pill fueled bender; she wrapped her car around a tree , broke both her legs, and her back. She claimed she accidentally took extra pain meds & had a seizure . Her wreck was in a hiking, bicycling , touristy area. She's lucky she didn't kill somebody or herself. Her total disregard for others infuriated me. I ended up taking her dog to ease some if the burden on her husband. Now that the girls are old enough to choose who they live with and they chose their father. Rightly so- I think.
I'm not telling you this to scare you at all. I'm just telling you that you do have options. You have the right to protect your sweet girls.
I'm so sorry she acted an ass infront of people- the girls- and you. You don't deserve that! I wish I could help. If you are concerned about her driving under the influence with the girls in the car- my suggestion would be to report her. Making a false report is one thing but, of your concerns are justified then that's a whole different thing. You have every right to protect your girls.
I send you good vibes . I hope things calm down for you quickly my friend. I hope this doesn't come across as bossy or offensive . That is not my intention at all. Just want to help .
You and your girls are in my thoughts. Sorry this is so wordy.
((( pug hugs)))

[Lydia]

Kspouse,

Thinking of you and sending you positive vibes. I hope this weekend is less eventful (and just positive).

Lydia

P.S. Birdygirl Rocks

[kspouse]

Hello all....some of my friends kept asking me if my daughters have ever called me to get them...WELL IT FINALLY HAPPENED...Wednesday was thier moms day to pick them up from school at 3 and have them do homework,fed and back by 8pm...My oldest had a field trip to go to until 7pm so she picked my youngest up at 3 and my daughter called me at 3:30 from home asking me if I got something in the mail for her and talked a little....My daughter calls me an hour later crying asking me to come get her because Mom wouldnt take up for her..I asked her where she was.She said we are at moms friends house that she lives with when its her week away.I asked her what happened and she said she was talking to moms friends son which he is 6 and my daughter is 10 and she told him jokeingly that he wasnt good in sports he got mad and hit her in the face and mom didnt do anything for me...I said I will be there in a little bit...Thier mom calls me and says "YOU ARE NOT COMING TO GET HER ITS MY TIME WITH HER!" I asked what happened and she told me my daughter said something to friends son and he hit her she deserves it..I said I DONT THINL ITS RIGHT FOR A BOY TO HIT A GIRL....SHe hung up on me...My daughter calls me back on her cell phone and tells me when I get close to the friends house to text her and she will be waiting in the driveway.....When I got 1/4 mile away I called my daughters cell phone and thier Mom answered..I asked where our daughter is and she said she is playing at the park,which there is no park in that neighborhood....SHe told me to come to her friends house first so I could get her booksack and to come in the house which I then figured out it was planned...I got closer to the house and before I turned on thier street, I saw my daughter walking down the same street I was waving her hands for me to come get her which I did.She didnt have her shoes on..I asked her what she was doing and she said she walked down the street to get away from everyone..SHe was 200 yards from the house where thier mom was....I drove up in the driveway and thier mom was getting her booksack out of the car and her friends husband was standing outside waiting on me and when he saw my daughter in the truck he walked into the house.THe last thing I wanted was to see him also as he has been aressted for asault and battery 11 times,not someone I want to tangle with,but I can hold my own...When thier mom saw I already had my daughter in the truck,she looked startled like she had planned for me to go to the house first before picking up my daughter.She asked me where I found our daughter and I told her and we drove off..My daughter then told me " Daddy I want to live with you, mom is mean and didnt take up for me,I dont like moms friend and neither does our oldest daughter.SHe treats us bad always telling us what to do..I said "You have to tell the councelor this also because I am glad you told me but you do need to tell the councelor.She agreed and I told her that she cannnot joke to people like that and not make them mad becasue she doesnt like to be picked on either....SHe understood...I found it odd that out of thier mom,her friend and her husband that not one of them did anything other than blame my daughter..Later my daughter got a text from her mom and she told me that mom said their cant be any fighting over there because the cops have already been there before... I said "Thats not my problem"..These people live in a very nice neighborhood even drive a mercedes you get the picture and they have no class...I wrote all this down and gave to my atty along with what happened at the soccer/softball games..Thier mom called me yesterday but I didnt answer the phone....When I saw her yesterday at my daughters game she asked if I had gotten the call and I bluntly told her no I dont want to talk to her....SHe walked off...SHe called me twice this morning and I talked to her but it was about school...After what happened wed night,I stayed up with both my daughters until 11pm doing homework..My youngest asked if I would sit in her other bed and call out words to her because she has a test in the morning which I did..When I picked her up from school on thurs,She was walking to class and stopped and said "Daddy you know what i made on my science test,100% I didnt miss any...I was so glad for her and gave her a big hug..We went home and just spent a few hours together before she had another game that night....Thier mom got in the divorce papers that when we have the girls on the day in the week to pick them up from school they are to have homework done and fed.I have done that since and she hasnt held up to that at all...

[lonelylife]

Hi K,
Your ex is beyond frightening at this point. The eleven times guy should scare off any rational person, but there's your wife having her kids in that environment. That alone, the environment, one would think should be enough for the courts to know, much less all the rest. I hope you are telling your attorney. I also agree with birdy's thoughts about reporting your wife. Pills from everyplace is not only illegal it's dangerous beyond description. It's so sad your ex is so out of control.