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Did I harm when I was 13?

Posted: Mon Dec 26, 2016 6:01 am
by Eagold
I'm new to recovery and it's unburied a lot of stuff for me, including ways I acted my own abuse out as a child. One is haunting me because I don't know if what I did was abuse. I was babysitting some kids when I was 13 after church. I was acting out sexually and took off my underwear under my skirt. At some point I walked over the baby, who was laying on the ground and showed him my vagina. It was only for a moment and I felt dirty and ashamed and put my underwear back on and pushed the action deep down in my memory. I don't know if I scarred that child or not. I think he was only a few months old. Did I harm him?

Re: Did I harm when I was 13?

Posted: Mon Dec 26, 2016 9:58 pm
by recover
hi eagold,
first of all, it is good to meet you although i am sorry you need to be here.
it doesn't sound to me like what happened would scar or harm the baby. do you have a therapist you are working with that you can discuss it with? i am sorry you suffered with whatever it was that caused you to act out sexually. i am sorry you were abused.
take care,

Re: Did I harm when I was 13?

Posted: Tue Dec 27, 2016 1:54 am
by Eagold
Recover, it's good to meet you, too. I was sexually abused by a man from my parents church when I was 6 to maybe 8 and I blocked it out. I hope you're right about that boy being okay. I do have a therapist, but I am too ashamed to talk about this with anyone. It's the worst thing I've ever done.