My brother

A discussion area specifically for survivors who suffered physical, emotional, and verbal child abuse. This forum can also be used for Members who suffered sexual abuse at the time of physical, emotional and verbal abuse.

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Effybutterfly
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Posts: 12
Joined: Fri Oct 25, 2019 4:31 pm

My brother

Post by Effybutterfly » Sun Jan 26, 2020 8:30 pm

My brother used to hit me, all the time. He was bigger and older than me so usually I had to take it.

His favourite word to describe me was cunt. To him I was ‘fucking cunt’ or ‘fucking little cunt’, or, ‘stupid arrogant cunt’ or a ‘fucking little arrogant cunt’. Or any other respective combination. Sometimes I feel like he’s right and that’s all i am, and I makes me feel sick so I make myself sick.

He used to pin me down and lie on top of me and hit me and threaten me.

He’d constantly tease me and have a go at me. One time he told me he wanted to stab me in the mouth because I walked around the house barefoot and refused to put my socks or shoes on when he told me to.

This was essentially my entire childhood with him. I feel broken because of it, like a lot of my problems now are his fault.

coconuts
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Posts: 3343
Joined: Mon Mar 28, 2016 2:34 am

Re: My brother

Post by coconuts » Sun Jan 26, 2020 8:57 pm

That must have been terrible to live with. To always be afraid of him and to not be protected from him. I'm so sorry he treated you so poorly and hurt you in so many ways.
It's not okay.
Wishing you peace and release from all the terrible things he said to you.

there
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Posts: 7988
Joined: Mon Aug 15, 2011 12:41 am

Re: My brother

Post by there » Sun Jan 26, 2020 10:11 pm

Effybutterfly,
That sounds like he was really mean and hurtful. So abusive. Gosh, you’ve endured a lot.

An older brother is supposed to protect not endanger.

You are not the awful things he called you. I’ve been called the ‘c’ word, so I kinda get it.

Sending you comfort and kindness, Effybutterfly.
“Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.” Helen Keller

EasyStreet
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Posts: 575
Joined: Fri Mar 22, 2019 7:36 pm

Re: My brother

Post by EasyStreet » Mon Jan 27, 2020 1:19 am

My heart really goes out to you, Effybutterfly! My older brother was the same to me minus the sexuality.(as far as I know). It was a cold brutality and torture that went on for a few years.

I know how it affected me and can only imagine how your situation affects you. It’s really crap.

Well wishes and never give up!
EasyStreet
Thanks for being.

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