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Re: On talking and interacting with others

Posted: Wed May 22, 2019 9:27 am
by dancingfish
Oh hey, thanks for your responses!

Makes a lot of sense, Noname. reisha too. :)

Just a short reply, bit low on spoons! Maybe... the difference between isolation and solitude is our intention. Well, that might be a bit obvious. Maybe we (I) choose solitude because it's safer, and a habit. But, we still have needs to be with and see other people - but they get set aside. And after a while that builds up, and is not being answered, and so our safe or relaxing solitude becomes isolation because it's no longer giving us what we need.

I guess it's about whether we've chosen to be alone, and if our needs have changed whilst we're being on our own and if we're responding to that. Am pretty sure I'm poorly attuned to my needs, tend to be overwhelmed by things I think I "should" be doing, but don't actually want to do. ;) Tried some of the attunement exercises in the 8 Keys to Safe Trauma Recovery (Babette Rothschild), and it's like trying to pat snowflakes in the air with your eyes shut.

Just some thoughts. Thank you for sharing, all of you! More thoughts are most welcome, too. :)

Re: On talking and interacting with others

Posted: Wed May 22, 2019 6:42 pm
by reisha
Dancingfish, i really like what ya said ^up there'. Id been ponderin this for a while, & just keep turnin it over & over in my mind. & then ya come along & deftly untangle it. Thanx 4 that gift!
& it makes such perfect sense. So obvious, which is prolly why i missed it. (Yano how if ya bring sumtin real close to yer face, ya sumtimes cant see it? Yeah, thats me, lol!)

Sendin ya uplifting energy for this day

Re: On talking and interacting with others

Posted: Wed May 22, 2019 8:15 pm
by dancingfish
Oh yes, I know that one well. So many times I'd spend a good week trying to puzzle something out, and my dear old t would within minutes of hearing it say "Might be something like this?" And there it was, crystal clear and obvious. Funny how that goes. :)

I've been zooming a bit (in a good way) today, so uplifting energies much appreciated and seen in practice!

Re: On talking and interacting with others

Posted: Thu May 23, 2019 2:19 am
by reisha
Well, on THIS issue, for itsbeen yrs! So kudos to ya thatyers is aonly wks, lol!

Re: On talking and interacting with others

Posted: Thu May 23, 2019 8:49 pm
by Couragetoday
Hi dancingfish,

I wonder if our definitions of solitude in isolation can change over time?
for me, nowadays, solitude has become something desirable, purposefully chosen, and really a form of self care whereas Isolation now feels like something imposed, out of my control.
Despite my personal scenario, It can still feel a slippery slope from solitude, to suddenly finding yourself deeply emotionally and or physically isolated.

Hope Tomorrow finds you fully replenished with spoons!

Couragetoday

Re: On talking and interacting with others

Posted: Thu May 23, 2019 9:50 pm
by there
hi, df,
couragetoday pretty much described my experience of solitude/isolation. I'm single, live solo (+ dog). When i am here alone, feel I'm getting too lonesome, I know I need to reach out for human contact or friendship. Sometimes, I can feel less lonely just looking at the trees outside. They are living beings, too. And they are supportive, cleaning the air, giving shade, beauty.
Feeling a little too lonely atm. May take dog out for a bit. Trying to :)

Re: On talking and interacting with others

Posted: Thu May 23, 2019 10:23 pm
by Couragetoday
Hope it’s OK to reply to what you said there? as I know this is your thread dancingfish.
I so know what you mean about how looking at trees can reduce loneliness. It’s part of why I love living in the country.
I feel this way about all of nature! Being around birds, trees, plants, soil, a clear view of the sky, other critters, it’s just a very soothing, less overwhelming way to feel connected and a part of life.
It felt good to read that Someone else feels this way also.
Hope you find a way to reduce the loneliness, there.
Couragetoday

Re: On talking and interacting with others

Posted: Fri May 24, 2019 2:03 pm
by Noname
Just wanted to say that I'm finding the discussion of solitude v. isolation very interesting. Lots of good points, and lots to think about. Wish I had more time/ability to say more!

Re: On talking and interacting with others

Posted: Fri May 24, 2019 2:43 pm
by dancingfish
Quite happy to see you all talking about this more, it's giving me food for thought too! Thank you all. :)

Hah and yes, of course it can change over time - something I so readily forget, though. Thanks for the reminder Ct. :)

I spent a lot of time growing up out in nature, it was my refuge of sorts. For a long time the quiet whispery world of trees and little plants and earth was more real to me than connection with others. From discussions with t, I think I formed a bond with it in the absence of safe/available others.

It's still very important to me, but I'm more connected to that "other" world where people exist now too. They're even starting to feel like one connected place, instead. (!) I don't think I'll ever quite lose that joy of seeing plants grow, finding new flowers, and seeing the evening light filter through boughs and leaves. There's definitely a connectedness there as you say, and it's quite different from being closed away in a building/house.

Another thread I was reading here the other day highlighted the power of habits we have, too. Things that are not trauma reactions, but part of a network of more conscious reactions that can still sit very deeply ingrained (in my opinion). Some of mine centre around isolation, and then when these crossover/emerge from voluntary solitude (I do like this differentiation you've highlighted!) it can be hard to break out.

Finding there's a link between changing/adjusting "old" unhelpful habits that I'm more aware of, and reducing isolation though. That's kind of another post though, and it's an old wearying friend for me.

Re: On talking and interacting with others

Posted: Sun Jun 02, 2019 3:12 pm
by ephes
Ooooh dancingfish, there and Couragetoday, sorry I don't have anything valuable to add.
Just feeling really delighted in the the knowledge that others are feeling the same connectedness with nature, or feeling less lonely when looking at trees. Thank you for existing and saying these things:).