A discussion area specifically for survivors who suffered physical, emotional, and verbal child abuse. This forum can also be used for Members who suffered sexual abuse at the time of physical, emotional and verbal abuse.

Moderators: quixote, Harmony, ajei

Post Reply
Posts: 260
Joined: Fri Sep 23, 2011 5:22 pm


Post by jimscarlet » Thu Mar 28, 2019 8:14 pm

Greetings Friends,
Haven't been here for while,problem with ISP so had to switch provider.Since couldn't get on computer,
been writing more in journal,and the whole thing about "transferring"opened up to me.It may be a bit higgedly piggedly,in
not flowing but I'll do best. Here is No.1 Transfer for me:'Be perfect 24/7,365,and don't dare make mistakes,or else.
2.If do make mistake,should feel as if just murdered someone,and catastrophise how awful and terrible it is.3.Transfer all
pain and misery to self,cos that's what you're used to.4.When ill or injured,do not look after self properly.5.Do not see
drawing or painting as good and something to be cherished and nurtured--see as unimportant and of no real use.6.Don't treat
self with respect--treat self with disrespect.7.Don't see self as competent for,or in anything--see self as INcompetent and
not fit for anything.7.Don't see self as strong--see self as weak and worthless.8.Do not see self as deserving of happiness--see
self as deserving UNhappiness.
There is more,but need to explain something; you can get confused in finding these,becaussse,
you may miss the CONCLUSION the child arrived at E.G. I was continually told I was stupid b----rd day after day after day,
year after year after year,with exclamation marks of beatings with pokers,belts,punches,kicks,etc.Guess what the child
comes to believe? Well,no,not that he's stupid and worthless,that was a given long ago,no,he comes to believe that he is not
worth EXISTING,he does not deserve to BE ALIVE ON THE PLANET! This was conclusion I did not know I had arrived at,as
mind not sophisticated enough,but it was buried in subconscious all these years.
Here is phrase for you to remember:
"DEFAULT POSITION". This is when we are IN any of transfers,I just made wee signs for self with that on them,and ? so can
see if in any of transfers,and immediately say: "THAT WILL BE RIGHT!" I remember author John Bradshaw commenting that
some children BECOME the parent (God Forbid),but there is enough truth in that to cause child great confusion,pain,sadness,
and turmoil throughout its life,as it struggles to find out who he/she REALLY IS,when devoid of the parents influence and
personality. Here is what I wrote in journal: "There it is,in these last few pages, IT IS ALL TRANSFERRED,in all but few traits
the parents could never have---the child becomes the 'INTERMITTENT PARENT' with the intermittent traits of parents towards itself,and with ensuing RESULTS of those intermittent behaviours E.G. anger,depression,feeling less-than,etc.
BUT,not knowing all of above,the child BLAMES HIM/HER SELF! And so,unknowingly--CONTINUES ITS OWN ABUSE BY ITSELF!
These are all Auditory,Visual,Psychological,Emotional,IMPRINTS in the child's brain,which it is completely unaware of,so
consequently he/she has this ALIEN inside their brain,doing,thinking,feeling,which the child thinks is HIM/HER!
To paraphrase Bush at time of 9/11,If they (your thoughts/feelings) are not FOR YOU,they are AGAINST YOU,and if they are
AGAINST YOU, IT.IS.NOT.YOU.------------------------------------------------------IT. IS. THEM!
Phew,longest I've ever written,hope it
was worth it for some of you ------------------------REMEMBER, stay out of DEFAULT POSITION.

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests