There: 2019

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there
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Joined: Mon Aug 15, 2011 12:41 am

Re: There: 2019

Post by there » Sat Dec 21, 2019 8:52 pm

Aw, Dewdrop,
I started doing that—-managing expectations of others. Sigh. Only 5,000 other adjustments, efforts to make. Maybe a few people can be depended on to be the way I need them to be.
Thanks for agreeing my brother.😜

Working on an image in procreate for a Facebook post for the holidays. Doing it is keeping me focused and not on ‘auto self-destruct’.
“Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.” Helen Keller

Couragetoday
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Joined: Sun Dec 28, 2014 11:31 pm

Re: There: 2019

Post by Couragetoday » Sun Dec 22, 2019 1:39 pm

Hi there,

Sending some positive vibes and lots of caring to you and Tula.

Couragetoday

coconuts
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Joined: Mon Mar 28, 2016 2:34 am

Re: There: 2019

Post by coconuts » Sun Dec 22, 2019 4:46 pm

Ah adjustments. I think we are all there. Trying to find out how to not be a victim. At least for me I was trained to put myself last always . To believe that's where I belong. Which left me hurt over and over. Adjusting that course is daily work. Trying to see how to balance that.

Thinking of you today.

Noname
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Joined: Sat Jun 15, 2013 4:58 pm

Re: There: 2019

Post by Noname » Mon Dec 23, 2019 2:30 pm

Hi there,

Admiring your strength and resiliency, and agreeing with your brother and DewDrop that you are an excellent person.

there
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Posts: 7988
Joined: Mon Aug 15, 2011 12:41 am

Re: There: 2019

Post by there » Tue Dec 24, 2019 8:32 pm

So glad I got posts from Ct, coconuts, and Noname. Really gives me peace and strength.

Debating going to brother’s for Christmas Eve service and a meal.
SIL often usually is either mean or rude to me. Now feel like crying.
Freaking hare Christmas.
Alone tomorrow. Chinese restaurant, what else?
Need a hug so bad.
“Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.” Helen Keller

dancingfish
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Posts: 645
Joined: Sat Dec 20, 2014 9:39 pm

Re: There: 2019

Post by dancingfish » Tue Dec 24, 2019 10:30 pm

Hey there. Wishing you all good things that you deserve. :) Brave and difficult to manage expectations of others! And to handle possible meanness. I think perhaps their meanness isn't about you as such, though - it's something that's in them, being unfairly put on you. Because you are bright and beautiful and have and will always overcome. :) That is your bravery, and spirit, and earned resourcefulness!

I hope you can find some peace, happiness with others, and a sense of being here and supported over this holiday time. Pocket riding if you'd like!

coconuts
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Joined: Mon Mar 28, 2016 2:34 am

Re: There: 2019

Post by coconuts » Wed Dec 25, 2019 3:16 am

Aww hugs there.

I agree with dancingfish. It's on them. You are a beautiful and amazing person. If they can't see that they are sorely missing the wonderful that is right before them.

there
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Posts: 7988
Joined: Mon Aug 15, 2011 12:41 am

Re: There: 2019

Post by there » Wed Dec 25, 2019 3:53 am

Thank you both, dancingfish and coconuts.
I pulled myself through and went.

Breathe.
The candlelight church service was beautiful. Unexpectedly, my dear friend PJ, the retired pastor, and his wife were attending. They’re usually traveling the world. I’d just been looking for him on FB yesterday. From him, I got the hug I needed so much.
Crying now, cuz that meant so much to me.

Niece was slightly snotty, doesn’t know any better. Must be the pocket rider influence, because I was strong and I don’t have to react to reaction.

Back now, in bed, Tula nestled in.

Thank you so much for being here and for your words of appreciation.
“Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.” Helen Keller

coconuts
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Joined: Mon Mar 28, 2016 2:34 am

Re: There: 2019

Post by coconuts » Wed Dec 25, 2019 4:23 am

Oh so glad you were able to get what you needed and we're strong thru it.

there
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Posts: 7988
Joined: Mon Aug 15, 2011 12:41 am

Re: There: 2019

Post by there » Wed Dec 25, 2019 8:17 am

Thank you, coconuts,
Awake after sleeping 2 hours.
Really trying yo let go of the hard parts of the evening.
Listening to a talk on responding not reacting. Am partly reacting, close to tears.
Too much to describe, family —-even brother—- I just don’t want to belong to.
Tears coming, why feel hurt when I don’t matter to others?
Guess I’m doing this to myself now.
Can’t stand this life at times.
Not strong right now.
Why was I put in this life?
“Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.” Helen Keller

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