Something Simple

[IMA]

WS
So I don't know anyone from Thailand, there are a few restaurants here that I want to try out one is called Udom Thai.

For dance gonna join a studio for belly and hulu dancing.

The house I want would want to be about 4 bedrooms and 2.5 bathrooms...one leveled home (one I want to design an open concept floorplan, and want it to have a basement with a separate entrance, so I can rent it out).

The PhD I want to pursuit is one close to human biology. I'm still familiarizing myself to the titles and degrees that are out there so, I might switch to find one that would go with my dream career.

I want to flexible like an contortionist, it's been an attraction of mine for a while now.

The massage therapy I want to pursuit is Neuromuscular Therapy or even Kinesiology. I like massage and one of the first massage I got was Thai massage and it helped alot.

[IMA]

Ws,
Lately with soulmates I have them in all forms

One was a red golden retriever, alway knew where I was and could find me with every hide and seek.

Another was a step auntie, she always saw my mom through me and alway kept it real

My mom who past away when I was four, I believe that she still protects me from my dreams from going too far...always that sweet overbearing figure to guard me from evil.

Another soul mate I had was a neighbor from a place when I was 5 years. We experienced divine interventions when we got lost and Angel's guided out of harms way

Now my current soulmate is like my opposite...his white to my dark..my numbness to his emotional, it gets intense and I glad he can bring that life's essence out of me still....

Legends are slowly dying out...but no one wants to step up for the fear of death's sakes.

[IMA]

I'm happy that I found a job after like 4 months of searching.

[there]

IMA,
Good for you on finding a job!

[IMA]

Thank you there

Was really starting to think my job days were over because of my last manic episode.

I thank life on how it can be rewritten into something new with time.

[IMA]

Five things I like about myself:
1. The shape of my eyes
2. My skin tone
3. The shape of my nails
4. My smile
5.My non existing eyebrows lol

[IMA]

Thinking while resting....looking back on older post of mine on this site. I realized I have some distorted thoughts on reality and on how I view myself.

I still hear the voice of my abusers feeding me lies to believe about myself. I feel worried and out of place this morning, but at least I was able to brush my teeth and make breakfast so far.

[wolfspirit]

IMA,
Just want to say that it is good to read that you have found a job, since you need that to be independent.
Reading your soul mates list made me smile.
I should make my own list...

thank you for being a friend,

ws

[IMA]

Ws
Thank you for having me as a friend..... there was this one saying from a show that caught my attention and it made think of you and some of the stuff people like us go through.

It went like this...
When you feel like you shouldn't exist just remember that for what it's worth that it's okay to exist.And it's not just you who should exist.

It's okay to feel like anybody should exist and no one shouldn't either. Because if that were true then I wouldn't be here either. It scares me to think these kinds of things and it makes me feel so small.

When I'd heard that said, something suddenly clicked into my momd and realized life is what you, yourself makes it. Sure when we are born in some harsh times that we could not control, but that doesn't mean we have to die with what we went through.

I like to sometimes daydream about how I can jump into the arms of someone who can make me forget why I found love so hard to see and feel in the first place.

Another is helping others who have past on and helping tell their story from what their bodies felt behind. That why I know forensic pathology is my calling.

And another is just working up the nerve to dance in front of my new found soul mate. Lol I know this last one was silly, but it gives me life and a happier reason to keep on living.

[IMA]

Today I woke up not feeling so great. I wonder where all that happiness went from last night.