Hi Easystreet. Sure, post a happy face if you'd like. I hope you enjoy reading my long posts. Please know how healing they are to me and how necessary to my overall therapy. You are always welcome to leave a smiley for me. In fact, I'd like that.
dancingfish wrote: ↑
Mon Jul 15, 2019 9:38 am
I like your idea EasyStreet, have been trying to write just shorter things rather than going silent for long periods too.
(I find it difficult just to amass a reply to all parts of a post, or even read longer sections, sometimes. As if brain is in panic mode and doesn't want to be seen, plus will only process bitesize pieces before flibbetting!)
For me, making my posts more brief is worse than awful to me. It hurts me to not say exactly what and ALL of what I wish to say, and on any topic. I know that no one wants me to be hurt on here, and any of you can always pass me by if the length of my posts are troublesome to or uncomfortable for any of you. That oddly doesn't hurt me as bad as to be criticized for what I write DO write, or even worse (and especially) that I'm "writing too much". When I hear that it says to me that what I have to say is unimportant, but for me to leave it inside to fester is not good for me either. Even the good things are important for me to learn to share with others (like the garden). Once criticized, I have to wonder what the complainant wants left out. I hear criticism that I myself am lacking somehow and that I've failed to express myself in a more succinct manner.
Any of you can simply scan my writings or delve deeply. I write to get rid of stuff anyway, whether it's being scrutinized by someone else or not. And a brief message back or even a happy face, a mere acknowledgement of my existence, is always appreciated, but my self worth is no longer dependent on that. I always write to "you all". Just to put it out there is VERY therapeutic to me. But what I do put out there is often extensive since it has been bottled up inside me for most of my life. I need to dump it and let it go, and that's just what I do on here. It's just that I really love ♥♥ isurvive.org ♥♥!! I'm SO grateful that this is here for me!!! It is often life saving for me, making my life happier, not so lonely, and making it worth living. What a kindness I find in that!
dancingfish wrote: ↑
Mon Jul 15, 2019 9:38 am
I'm still reading along with you, honeybera! Oh but your farm sounds like it is coming along so nicely.
And with such gentleness and kindness for yourself, too! So that you manage it all as best you can. Sorry to hear about the firework scare, glad that was all okay!
Yeah, I was almost garden-less and homeless!!! Very scary. I'd just put a full 4" of VERY dry straw on ALL
the ground in the dog's yard. Yikes.
The squash are so prolific now, and they get HUGE even before I spot them on the bushes, but for the life of me I still don't seem to be able to give stuff away
. It's that old hoarder problem that I've had for years, but it's one more thing to work on. I am working on it, but it's hard for me to let go of "things", be it veggies that I don't need or things in my kitchen or garage. It's like I feel threatened somehow letting it go. I need to ponder that...seriously. I'd like to figure out where that is coming from and then learn to let it go. I have faith that it will come to me in due time; I just need to be very honest with myself.
My kitchen is getting better and better! I made some of my old standby keto veggie recipes tonight and they turned out GREAT
! I will make both bread and muffins tomorrow. I am even moving dishes, pots, and pans around to be more convenient for my new style of cooking.
=======================================(Two days later)
I made the bread and muffins (cherry-almond with sugar free choc. chunks) and they both turned out very nicely. (I actually DID what I SAID I'd do!! YAY!) It's going to be HOT HOT HOT around here for the next several days, so no work in the garden, but it's 76-77ºF inside my house. Today was "clean out the kitchen pantry" day (again). It's a BIG walk-in pantry, so lots of work and cleaning involved! It's going to be anywhere from 101º-105ºF for the next week
, and today I kept going on the kitchen
Way back on one shelf a mouse or something had gnawed away a hole in an old cereal bag and it spilled all back there unnoticed, so I swept it out (nasty droppings and all!
) onto an old cardboard box piece and dumped all that, then used bleach water TWICE and dried it nicely. When it dried, I put in one of my new 18" lazy susans. I bought some lazy susans of all sizes to go on the shelves so nothing EVER gets stuck in the back and sits there unnoticed for up to 7 years!
Last week when I emptied the shelves like this of all the old things, I filled up the kitchen garbage can so heavily (mostly heavy canned foods that were definitely EXPIRED) that when DS went to dump it the neighbor had to help him lift it up to dump into the big 96 gallon trash bin that the garbage men pick up with a lift on their truck!! (I won't fill it up like that again!!)
The lazy susans also will be a place for all my many flavorings and spices. Right now they are merely CLUTTER all over my sideboard. Once put into the walk in pantry I can replace them on the sideboard with my machines: my stand mixer (that I use now for the bread-making), Veggie Bullet (cauliflower rice, ♥Zoodles♥ [zucchini noodles], etc.), Instant Pot, food processor. All of this is a dream come true for me! And on the kitchen "island", which has become my DS's barista area for his fancy flavored teas and coffees, I can remove many of the kitchen machines that are in his way now. This is working out for both of us.
Most of these machines I've had for several years, but never used. Now I use them all the time and my goal is to use them even more. Keto isn't hard, but I do have to cook from scratch more. My keto friendly kitchen allows me to cook darned near whatever the recipe calls for, but they are often unusual ingredients (almond/coconut/hazelnut/and so on flours, little flavored oil bottles with droppers, bottles and bottles of sugar free syrups all with push pumps in them, TONS of spices, bags and bags of erythritol, sucralose [liquid Splenda], Stevia, and monk fruit [all artificial sweeteners], yeast, baking powder, sugar free EVERYTHING, xanthan gum, psyllium husks [both whole and powdered], oat fiber, vital wheat gluten, inulin, coconut EVERYTHING [ALL UNSWEETENED, coconut oil, butter (aka manna), desiccated flakes or finely ground, canned cream of coconut, in other words, ALL THINGS COCONUT], etc.) and a freezer full of meats (all kinds) and lots and lots of butter, lard, bacon, and olive and avocado oil.
I think I would have considered what I have and what I use in my kitchen now (instead of 2 yrs. ago before keto) quite odd.
But it sure makes it easy to whip up some yummy keto thing. I love it because NOTHING seems to be off limits for me (except legumes [beans, lentils, etc.] and most fruit...and of course all grains, sugars, and starchy veggies). I can make cakes, pies, cookies, candied nuts, fudge, fat bombs, REAL mayonnaise (YUM!), "Loaded Faux-tato Salad", Mashed Cauliflower, and Cauliflower "Mac" n' Cheese, and even BREAD and "Biscuits and Country Sausage Gravy"! And the recipes are FREE for me right there on the internet! Even crispy breaded meats or a nice casserole. I'm in heaven!
And I'm losing weight! And very few pains anymore.
And with some hard kitchen work during the next few scorching days outside, I can make my kitchen a LOT more Honeybera Friendly while staying cool inside!
There is so much to do!!!!! I need to reevaluate ALL my shelves in the kitchen, especially my old nasty frying pans and excess dinner plates, etc! Most of the stuff that was put there when I moved in and was due to a frantic asking of, "WHERE DO YOU WANT THIS???" and my befuddled answer of, "Anywhere?! Up (or down) there I guess?" and there it's been for the last 19 yrs. OY VEY!! After "moving in", I did NOT unpack everything, but had to scramble back to work. I worked for 5-7 days/wk., driving full time (and overtime) + a 3 hr. 100 mile DAILY round trip commute for the first 3½ yrs that I lived over here until DS turned 18. I went thru 3 cars in my 25 yrs. and several windshields due to passing big rigs kicking up rocks. It was grueling, but I'd do it again.
I just never did get to "settle in" to my new home. Now I have that luxury.
And due to having you to share with, it's getting easier and easier to "get 'er done". It's like changing my habits. If I clean out my bathroom sink, it has to STAY clean! If my clothes fill up my laundry hamper, off to the washer it goes. And then the clothes get put away WHERE THEY GO! That is a brand new way of being for me. MD never taught me anything except, "Stay out of my way!! I can do it 10 times better and 10 times faster than you!!" Always the shaming. Always the criticism. As a teenager, I once attempted to cook something for me to eat when my parents went out somewhere, and when they returned home and she discovered what I'd done (used her kitchen), she nearly beat me senseless! As a mother myself, I'm beginning to understand just how wrong she was. Only lately (by reparenting myself) can I appreciate and even enjoy doing household chores. My usual reaction to her "upbringing" was to RESIST doing my chores at all costs (once out of her home), even when I could see that things needed to be done. But now I'm enjoying looking at the vacuumed or mopped floor or straightened shelf and that is my happy payoff more and more as this gets easier and easier to do. I'm retraining myself I think. HUZZAH!!!
I guess you're never too old.
I'm also seeing the difference in DS. He has his clothes in his new chest of drawers and his room is being picked up. He's doing better on his form of keto (Carnivore Diet laced with large volumes of cashews) than even I am if I only consider weight loss. I can't have cashews (because I will overeat them every time - they are a weakness of mine), but DS can handle them. He likes my bread and muffins, too, especially the bread. I can see him mimicking me, both in diet and cleaning, and it pleases me very much.
I'm going to go get a cuppa decaf right now because it's getting late and I'm not really "hungry". I've had a muffin and a cuppa regular coffee hours ago. If I eat now...not good. So I think I'll just get a cuppa decaf (so I can sleep), but also get that HWC + butter, too, so I won't be hungry at all, plus it won't stimulate my insulin levels. That's how this whole thing works. It's not ALL "the food", but rather the intermittent fasting that does it! And since my food is so high fat (which does NOT stimulate insulin), I can easily skip many meals comfortably, which causes weight loss and many other benefits. MANY!
Ah! The decaf! Time for that now. Tomorrow I'll water in the AM! By 9am it will be 80ºF!! But only 68ºF @ 6am! Should be 102ºF tomorrow as a high in the afternoon
, but I'll be inside cleaning my kitchen pantry and my dining table. It's all coming along!!