When an abuser dies *******Triggers regarding death *******

[acorn]

It wasn't instant for me. I couldn't face the fact that one of my abusers had indeed abused me until decades after his death. I always felt troubled and never settled about his passing until I dealt with the abuse.

When my primary abuser died I felt worse at first but gradually things got easier. Dealing with all the rituals around death was horrible because people assumed that my grief was for losing this person when in reality I was overwhelmed with grief for the family I never had and for the childhood and loving adult family relationships I never had because of the abuse. It was a relief when it was all over and I could sort through things on my own without everyone else's assumptions about what my loss meant to me being right in my face.