Hi everyone. I hope you're all feeling okay today.
I've had a weird couple of months. When I first started speaking here, my partner was the most understanding and loving person I had ever met. We had been together for two years and best friends before that, for a year and a half.
He then cheated on me with my neighbor's girlfriend. Some other things happened, he reacted to his actions in a horrible way.
I then got the courage to admit I couldn't continue to relationship, even though I love and loved him so much, I could accept being treated this way. I was the worst in regards to my mental health that I have been in a very, very long time. If I spent a couple hours of my day not crying, I felt like I was making progress.
Some time had passed and although I was hurting I felt more secure and somewhat proud of myself for choosing my happiness in this situation. However, he has been sending me non stop abuse. (((TW))) he told me that the only way he would feel better if that if I ran myself a bath, sat in it and slit both my wrists. Call him for help so he could laugh as I bleed out. He also said I deserved everything that had happened to me in the past and that he hopes it happens again. I have gotten the police involved as he was also threatening me, telling me to watch my back and that I haven't see anything yet in terms of him ruining my life.
I'm still being strong. I am so surprised and shocked that this person that I once loved so much, has formed into a different person that I no longer recognise.
I am proud of myself though, I am putting one foot in front of the other, hopefully in the right direction. Focusing on myself and becoming a better person.
I feel so alone sometimes, I haven't been able to share this with anyone other than my dad. Which I'm super grateful for but I don't want to burden him further.
I guess I just wanted to get that off of my chest. I feel selfish posting here when I haven't checked in on anyone in a while.
Also sorry that this is such a childish post. It feels that way. But considering things that have happened in the past, I do feel like it all effects the way I cope and deal with things.
All the best,
Nelll
Hi, it's been a while
Moderators: Harmony, quixote, ajei
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Nelll
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- Joined: Mon Dec 07, 2020 3:03 pm
Hi, it's been a while
Last edited by Harmony on Sat Jul 17, 2021 5:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: edited trigger indicator from MT to NT for graphic triggering detail
Reason: edited trigger indicator from MT to NT for graphic triggering detail
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Qwerty
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- Joined: Thu May 06, 2021 9:59 am
Re: Hi, it's been a while
Oh my goodness Nell! Stay safe! I have had very abusive ex boyfriend stalkers before and the best advice I can give is to delete him from your life in every way possible. Change email address, phone address, home address, friends and even family if you have to so he has no access to you. There is no such thing as "mutual friends" when things get this bad.
Keep the police on standby. Keep pepperspray at all times. If you have a local cafe or coffee shop that knows you well let them know you have a stalker and who he is so if they ever see him following you or God forbid taking you somewhere that they need to call 911 immediately.
Literally let anyone know what's going on that you trust. You don't have to tell them all the details, just that you have a violent stalker and that his name is X.
Keep the police on standby. Keep pepperspray at all times. If you have a local cafe or coffee shop that knows you well let them know you have a stalker and who he is so if they ever see him following you or God forbid taking you somewhere that they need to call 911 immediately.
Literally let anyone know what's going on that you trust. You don't have to tell them all the details, just that you have a violent stalker and that his name is X.
~Qwerty~
"We're not broken, just bent and we can learn to love again"
"We're not broken, just bent and we can learn to love again"
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earthhorse
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- Joined: Thu Jul 21, 2011 8:12 pm
Re: Hi, it's been a while
Nelll,
Oh no! Well you were absolutely right to end things with him. Who could know he could be so vicious!
Sending you so much safety, protection and support in every way.
None of this is on you. You are doing everything right.
Love,
EH
Oh no! Well you were absolutely right to end things with him. Who could know he could be so vicious!
Sending you so much safety, protection and support in every way.
None of this is on you. You are doing everything right.
Love,
EH
"One kind word can warm three winter months"
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coconuts
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- Joined: Mon Mar 28, 2016 2:34 am
Re: Hi, it's been a while
Oh wow. Im so sorry things went off the deep end. How horrible. He is saying these hateful things because he doesn't know how to face that he is the one in the wrong. He's selfish and immature.
You are not to blame and you never deserved any of the treatment you have been given as a child or and adult.
I agree with qwerty. Find every way possible to delete him from your life. I had to do that with an ex ( actually more than 1) because they became so obsessed with trying to hurt me, either physically or emotionally. Both of which feel awful.
You deserve safety again both physically and emotionally. You deserve so much more. You need to do all to u can to take care if you right now. To show yourself how very important you are and that his actions are on him and have nothing to do with you.
Wishing you peace and safety and healing
You are not to blame and you never deserved any of the treatment you have been given as a child or and adult.
I agree with qwerty. Find every way possible to delete him from your life. I had to do that with an ex ( actually more than 1) because they became so obsessed with trying to hurt me, either physically or emotionally. Both of which feel awful.
You deserve safety again both physically and emotionally. You deserve so much more. You need to do all to u can to take care if you right now. To show yourself how very important you are and that his actions are on him and have nothing to do with you.
Wishing you peace and safety and healing
Be the Light 
in someone's night.
in someone's night.-
chillysmeg
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- Joined: Thu Jul 22, 2021 10:45 pm
Re: Hi, it's been a while
Hey Nelll,
I’m so sorry you’re going through that. You’re doing very well and I know some days are harder than others but keep your head up. We’re all here for you.
It sucks constantly looking over your shoulder but try your best to be more cautious and erase him from your life. Better days are to come, baby steps.
Love
CS
I’m so sorry you’re going through that. You’re doing very well and I know some days are harder than others but keep your head up. We’re all here for you.
It sucks constantly looking over your shoulder but try your best to be more cautious and erase him from your life. Better days are to come, baby steps.
Love
CS
Be kind always