bad experiences with therapists

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thereisnowhy
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Posts: 18
Joined: Sun Dec 09, 2018 11:50 pm

bad experiences with therapists

Post by thereisnowhy »

Hi
I have seen many therapists, and had some bad experiences. Today I was reminded of them...
Does anyone else have those experiences?
Is it considered emotional abuse, or just hurtful comments or actions?

I just want to write about it and be angry and hurt, and let it out.
It is so wrong to go for help and be vulnerable and be judged and yelled at and all the rest.
It feels like there's no place to talk about it because the topics are pretty intense and stuff I don't want to share with most people. Its hard to tell the story without saying what we were talking about, or talk about my traumas.
greendreamdays
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Posts: 77
Joined: Tue Mar 30, 2021 3:08 am

Re: bad experiences with therapists

Post by greendreamdays »

I have had some bad experiences with therapists. It can be abusive. It can be one of the worst feelings to open up about something the first time only to be judged, criticized, manipulated, or hurt in response. This topic seems to be the right place if you wanted to share more. Trauma can be a wide range of experiences. I often see people are worried that they are not posting in the right place but generally I think they do so I wouldn't worry about it too much. And if it's not then the moderators will move posts to different topics as they see appropriate, but they'll let you know if that happens.
Edit: for clarity
Qwerty
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Posts: 87
Joined: Thu May 06, 2021 9:59 am

Re: bad experiences with therapists

Post by Qwerty »

Oh my goodness yes!
I have had lots of trauma and abuse in my life and the absolute worse that drove me back into the hands of a cult AND on suicide watch was from a therapist. He absolutely broke me at my most vulnerable. Even my "abusers" were mortified by the verbal abuse i suffered from my therapist.
Needless to say...i never went back.

It is so very very important to make sure your therapist is well vetted and has lots of experience with your specific problems. Never see a therapist without interviewing them first. They are not in the "trust the experts" category as the "science" on psychology is in its infant stage and even more so for therapists with a vo tech certificate.
I could and probably should write a book on my bad experiences vs good experiences with therapy.
While I'm relieved I'm not the only one who has had this reoccurring problem with therapists, I'm even more sad that you had to go through this. It absolutely is devastating.
Last edited by Harmony on Thu Jul 15, 2021 4:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: edited from MT to NT due to no specific triggering content.
~Qwerty~
"We're not broken, just bent and we can learn to love again"
thereisnowhy
Member
Posts: 18
Joined: Sun Dec 09, 2018 11:50 pm

Re: bad experiences with therapists

Post by thereisnowhy »

Qwerty thanks for writing back. I dont know why i'm not getting emails telling me i have a reply.
Thats realllllly bad, its so true, the most vulnerable moments.. the only times i TRY to be vulnerable rather than protect myself actually... the easiest to be hurt.
So unethical, so sorry to hear it, and I hope you reported the therapist to the licensing board (whichever it is, BBS or APA).
Interesting that you were in a cult, because i was raised in a cult. That makes therapy and trust and power dynamics difficult among other things. Its pretty shocking if the cult abusers were shocked by the therapist. Writing a book could make therapists think more about what they do.. could draw attention to the problems, maybe could keep those kinds of people from becoming therapists. And maybe would be a good release.
I think of writing my story, including the bad therapy parts, and i have bits .. I want to remember it all so it can be the whole story, beginning middle end, make sense.
Sorry to write back so late!
Last edited by Harmony on Sat Jul 17, 2021 5:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: edited from MT to NT no triggering detail
thereisnowhy
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Posts: 18
Joined: Sun Dec 09, 2018 11:50 pm

Re: bad experiences with therapists

Post by thereisnowhy »

By the way I love the quote by PINK. She is one of my favorite singers and very empowering
Last edited by Harmony on Sat Jul 17, 2021 5:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: edited from MT to NT no triggering detail
Qwerty
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Posts: 87
Joined: Thu May 06, 2021 9:59 am

Re: bad experiences with therapists

Post by Qwerty »

Thereisnowhy,
It was a very weird time in my life and its odd to me that it's a common experience. You shouldn't be in better hands in the cult you were in, then the people who are suppose to be helping you.
I mean I know that's why Reagan threw out the idea of mental instiutions as a whole in the Us. But there's a part of me that believes that there has got to be a way that psychology in general is salvagable, even if they have to have extreme moral vetting processes. I recently discovered Dr Collin Ross and while his books left me feeling less alone, it made me wonder why psychiatry is so full of abusers.
I'm glad you noticed the Pink quote. She's such a strong advocate for victims of abuse and having a voice. She's an amazing human being.
Make sure the ✅ is by the notify me button on your post. That should do the trick. Sometimes they get unchecked accidentally.
~Qwerty~
"We're not broken, just bent and we can learn to love again"
coconuts
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Posts: 5143
Joined: Mon Mar 28, 2016 2:34 am

Re: bad experiences with therapists

Post by coconuts »

I've had both good and bad experiences with therapists. It is so hard to trust after that. Heck is hard to trust regardless. My current therapist is amazing. And has really put into light how crappy some of the others were.

When I was a kid my parents got a therapist. Filled her with lies and turned the world against us. Then she reported everything I said back to my parents. Then at my parents bidding she had me institutionalized for like 7 months. Plus some. Until I gave up and did what they said. I finally conceded said they were right. That i was an awful person. Wrote letters to people admitting my awfulness and telling them I was a liar. Which made me forever ostracized by my school, my neighbors, my family. Yes fun. My parents obviously orchestrated this but the mental hospital and all the people there fully supported them.

A previous therapist was nothing special and didn't really care. She just ran me thru her program. I learned to do what she said, and moved on. No connection whatsoever.

The last therapist I had messed with my head a lot. He said things that made me never trust him. He lied to me. And he made some inappropriate comments. I didn't think i had any other options for help so i stuck it out. Trying to work around the weirdness and thinking that it was a acceptable. I was quite upset when we terminated. However now i see that it was because a few of my parts appreciated the idea that i would likely never tell him anything. He always was talking. Like always. He constantly told me how he was looking for another job. He said a number of times how other patients had told him things that were so out there he didn't believe it. And he made comments about how beautiful I was. Saying things like, well you are a beautiful woman. Or you are very attractive. In a way that made it seem like it was my fault for having been sexually targeted and making me feel incredibly uncomfortable.

My current therapist is much different. He has never suggested he wouldn't believe us. He has been slow, and patient. He rarely talks. In fact yesterday he talked a lot and at the end he sat back and apologized, but honestly he was just teaching and responding to what we had said. Once i asked him to back off and if he could have plastered himself to the opposite wall he would have. He constantly checks in to make sure things are okay and promises every part he will never take advantage of them, to the point of telling them that they should report him if he ever does anything unethical. He has been incredibly patient with our slowness to trust. It's been an incredibly different experience. What i wish everyone's experience could be. All while navigating some strange issues because we run in the same circles. (I work with his wife and my twins are best friends with his son, and my oldest was really good friends with his oldest) is a very small town. The small town thing actually helps because i know if he screws up the who town would know and he would lose their trust and ruin his practice. So yeah. But having a good experience has been amazing.
Last edited by Harmony on Sun Jul 25, 2021 4:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: edited trigger indicator from MT to NT as no triggering detail
Be the Light 🌟 in someone's night.
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