Let down by teachers

A discussion area specifically for survivors who suffered physical, emotional, and verbal child abuse. This forum can also be used for Members who suffered sexual abuse at the time of physical, emotional and verbal abuse.

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Chessgirl
Member
Posts: 1377
Joined: Thu Nov 05, 2020 7:45 pm

Re: Let down by teachers

Post by Chessgirl »

Hey crow,
That is so sad that you were crying for help and no one did a thing. I’m so sorry you were let down. I bet you would have really benefited from a hug and caring communication by one of your teachers. I know it would have done wonders for me. I know when I worked as a preschool teacher, whenever we suspected something we were to tell the director first. We would all kind of discuss it and then she would decide what to do. I know she did make a few calls to CPS when she suspected abuse. Sometimes she would do some digging like check out the parents Facebook pages and get an idea for herself. This is at a preschool with infants- 4 year olds. Not sure how it works in primary schools these days. I feel like when I was in elementary school, my teachers basically just got together and gossiped, mostly putting blame on the children themselves. I went to a snobby private school with teachers who themselves seemed to have grown up in a bubble with very little experience with abuse. That’s just what I gathered from my own observations but who knows!
Chessgirl
Squiggy
Member
Posts: 197
Joined: Mon Sep 12, 2011 8:07 pm

Re: Let down by teachers

Post by Squiggy »

Thanks chessgirl, it sounds like you get it too. I'll tell you something else about my experience in fifth grade. The incident involving the fan happened only about a week before the end of the academic year, and when I returned for the last few days of the term, I wondered if I might flunk the year. My grades that year were poor by my earlier standards, especially in the second semester, and further lowered by having a lot of zeros, from failure to turn in work, out of apathy more than spite. A week earlier, I'd believed that even though my teacher clearly disliked me, she would be honest about calculating my final grade, but after she lied out of her ass about the fan, I no longer had any confidence in that belief. My father would have been extremely displeased, of course, and undoubtedly would have beaten me for flunking. If I'd had to take remedial classes over the summer, it would have been worse; he would have been thought I was a dunce every time he had to transport me to or from these classes, and I might have received a dozen or more beatings over one issue. If I flunked outright, my father would have beaten me only once, but then I might get stuck with the same teacher the next year (I did not yet know that I would be changing schools). Imagine my relief when I learned on the very last day of school that I'd passed with a D. I wondered if it was what they called a "courtesy D" but I didn't dare ask.
Chessgirl
Member
Posts: 1377
Joined: Thu Nov 05, 2020 7:45 pm

Re: Let down by teachers

Post by Chessgirl »

Oh squiggy,
You clearly experienced a stressful 5th grade year. I know I barely passed that year and 6th grade as well. Every year I was scared to death that I would fail and have to repeat. I could not, for the life of me concentrate in class and I was always so behind. My schools were always academically challenging schools and my parents would tell me that if it wasn’t for my grandfather being on the board of every school I attended, I wouldn’t have gotten in. Basically I always felt like I was the dumbest kid at the school so I got to the point where I really didn’t even try. Then I would be praying at the end of the year tht my teachers would pass me out of pity or courtesy. I’m sorry you experienced that. The whole fan incident just sounds awful! You needed a sweet compassionate honest teacher that year. 5th grade is a hard year as is! Hope your having a nice weekend. I’m on my trip but it’s so freezing cold in New England! I’m up in my room having a coffee break trying to keep warm for a little while.
Chessgirl
Otterotter
Member
Posts: 13
Joined: Sat Apr 17, 2021 11:58 pm

Re: Let down by teachers

Post by Otterotter »

I totally understand where you are coming from. I feel like I was overlooked a lot in school because on paper, everything was "good" but I feel like teachers should have picked up on the signs. I am now an educator, and I work a lot with teachers about how to spot the "signs" of trauma and how they do not always present the way we expect them to.
"Fate. whispers to the warrior "you cannot withstand the storm.' The warrior looks back and smiles, 'I am the storm.'"
🦦🌊
Chessgirl
Member
Posts: 1377
Joined: Thu Nov 05, 2020 7:45 pm

Re: Let down by teachers

Post by Chessgirl »

It’s so nice to know I’m not alone! I’m so glad you found work where you can make a difference. We need more people like you in our schools!
Chessgirl
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