What you tell your kids

A discussion area specifically for survivors who suffered physical, emotional, and verbal child abuse. This forum can also be used for Members who suffered sexual abuse at the time of physical, emotional and verbal abuse.

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Chessgirl
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Posts: 1377
Joined: Thu Nov 05, 2020 7:45 pm

Re: What you tell your kids

Post by Chessgirl »

That is very true Eagle! I can just picture you taking out a photo of a little Yorkee. They are really cute! My partner wants one. I have an old pitbull, Layla. Had her long before my daughter. I always told myself if I don’t have kids, I’m gonna adopt a bunch of old pitbulls and live on a farm. The shelters are full of abandoned and abused pitbulls. It breaks my heart. They aren’t all mean. Dogs are such special animals. They are all great!
Chessgirl
Eagle
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Joined: Fri Jan 22, 2021 7:24 pm

Re: What you tell your kids

Post by Eagle »

Last summer I went to visit my daughter up along the US east coast. We all went to a wolf preserve in Pennsylvania. There were about 70 animals. Mostly wolf-dogs (canines with at least 15% wolf), but they had 20 that were full blood wolfs. Timber, silver and Grey wolfs. Beautiful animals. Some were there from the wild. Wounded animals that were saved. Most of them were peoples pets and the people didn’t the were part wolf. It’s illegal in the states to have a pet dog with any wolf dna. Is safer for people, and safer for the dogs so they go to the preserve. Each animal or small pack had a very large area to live in. While there, one of the timber wolfs started sounding alarm, and all 70 of them chimed in and started howling with that deep throat wolf call. One of the most moving things I have ever seen or heard in my life.

Eagle
Chessgirl
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Joined: Thu Nov 05, 2020 7:45 pm

Re: What you tell your kids

Post by Chessgirl »

Wow! That is so cool! I would love to experience that. The thought of a wolf chained up in someone’s yard breaks my heart. :(
Chessgirl
Eagle
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Joined: Fri Jan 22, 2021 7:24 pm

Re: What you tell your kids

Post by Eagle »

Yes, that would be bad, but most of the time it was quit innocent. Owners would take their pet dog to the vet to get shots or whatever. Most were rescues that they thought were Shepard or other large dogs. The vet, knowing what to look for would be concerned and order a DNA test. Many were found to be part wolf. Sad for the owners, but the vet would have to hand the dog over to authorities. The guide told us that several of the previous owners would come and visit with their old pets, but they couldn’t get close to them. Only the preserve handlers were allowed to interact with the animals. One looked like a typical black lab, but when he started his howl, you could tell, there was wolf in him. I think he was 20% wolf. Having to keep them in a preserve is not ideal, but most wouldn’t survive in the wild. Wild wolf packs would kill them or they would starve. Their runs were extremely large (average 3-5 acres) and they were well cared for. I give the preserve nothing but praise for what they do.

Eagle
Chessgirl
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Posts: 1377
Joined: Thu Nov 05, 2020 7:45 pm

Re: What you tell your kids

Post by Chessgirl »

That’s very interesting. Yes I could not imagine a wolf lab mix surviving in the wild very easily. I never knew this was a thing! I’m glad you told me about that. I’ll have to look it up now. You mentioned this place was up north on the east coast. Going up to that area of the country in a few weeks. I’m excited to see that part of the country :)
Chessgirl
Eagle
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Joined: Fri Jan 22, 2021 7:24 pm

Re: What you tell your kids

Post by Eagle »

Google pennsylvania wolf sanctuary or Wolf sanctuary of PA. Either should get you there.

Eagle
Chessgirl
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Re: What you tell your kids

Post by Chessgirl »

Ok got it! Thanks!
Chessgirl
Kokoschka
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Re: What you tell your kids

Post by Kokoschka »

Eagle,
It's great to hear you have a daughter and that you have such good relationship, happy for you!!

Chessgirl,

That is still something l love to fantasize about. Having a huge farm somewhere and taking in all animals in need. There's this guy from Lithuania who owns a beautiful farm in Wyoming, somewhere by the Yellowstone park where he keeps horses, cats, dogs and cares for all kinds of hurt animals. Where even lone wolfs and grizzlies come for a visit
You and Eagle, you might want to look it up. He's on youtube and goes by the name of honeysada. It's just beautiful,

Hope you and Eagle are having a good weekend, Kokoschka
..but god bless the child that's got his own... (Billie Holiday)
Chessgirl
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Posts: 1377
Joined: Thu Nov 05, 2020 7:45 pm

Re: What you tell your kids

Post by Chessgirl »

Ooooh that sounds amazing! Gonna look him up. I could just picture you on a farm caring for many animals in need! 😍 that really would be rewarding. Hope you enjoy your weekend too!
Chessgirl
coconuts
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Joined: Mon Mar 28, 2016 2:34 am

Re: What you tell your kids

Post by coconuts »

um I'm a bit late to the conversation lol. But I thought I might pipe in. (Not about the wolves, though that sounds cool)

I have really just taken things as they come with my children. My oldest few know a little about the abuse. They know I struggle with my mental health due to problems from my childhood. We make up many excuses for why they cannot go stay with grandma and grandpa. They get the hint eventually. My second oldest started getting into porn and we had a discussion around that. No details, just that I told him that I was a victim of that industry and that those people, even if they claim they are having fun or want to do it are hurting on the inside. My kids know I have another mom I never lived with but they don't know the story there. I do tell my children that some people aren't safe for us to be around, or to be around for long periods of time. That we need to make sure that we stay safe both with our bodies and in our hearts. And some people have hurt our hearts so we stay away from them. They don't need details. My kids also know that some of the things that hurt my heart also hurt my mind and that's why I need to take medicine and go to therapy so I can heal the hurts in my heart and mind.
As for the self harm, while they are young I just tell them they are old owies. When they are old enough I am honest and in a way it shows them that look, you do that, it will stick with you for the rest of your life and that I wish I hadn't done it, because it reminds me of my pain. Which I would much rather forget. Of course Im a messed up 40 year old still doing it :roll: so yeah, working on that. I really hope I can be honest in helping my kids avoid that.
Your experience can help you be a better parent. Use them in safe ways to warn them about bad decisions. Remind your daughter that her safety is of utmost important. And that includes safe hearts, minds, and bodies.

Coconuts
Be the Light 🌟 in someone's night.
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