Starting from the beginning

A discussion area specifically for survivors who suffered physical, emotional, and verbal child abuse. This forum can also be used for Members who suffered sexual abuse at the time of physical, emotional and verbal abuse.

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lorto
Member
Posts: 24
Joined: Wed Feb 03, 2021 10:42 pm

Starting from the beginning

Post by lorto »

When I was about 6 yrs. old is when I started to realize what was happening around me. I am the oldest out of 7 children and my mom was starting to go to the bars and leave us alone for days on end. Coming home to beat us because she had a bad time. We never had hot water, clean clothes or food
my job was to take care of my brothers and sisters while she was away. This happened till I was 10 yrs. old, I was asked to live with my grandmother
and I jumped at the opportunity she had food a house and I got to get clothes and also did not have to watch my brothers and sisters. a month would
not go by and I grew worried thinking what she is doing to my brothers and sisters I was afraid for them and came back home. Nothing changed:(
that night I got beat for talking back. Time would go by and she was coming home less so I started shoveling snow and taking days off of school and
asking people to help me get food from the food bank. eventually I would get caught by my mother and beaten. I was afraid of her but not afraid to take care of my brothers and sisters. When I was about 12 yrs. old my mother went to the bar and after she left a lady from the second floor knocked at the door, she said she had some food for us and all I had to do is go upstairs and get it so I did. she told me to sit down gave me alcohol and asked me to smoke a joint with her there was a man there as well and he did not talk much. I never did drugs before so I ended up passing out for a few hours when I woke up I knew something happened to me. She ended up giving me a very small box of rice and told me she would hurt me if I ever told anybody. I ended up going back to her because my brothers and sisters needed food and clean clothes. when I turned 15 yrs. old I was able to break
the cycle. I live with that nightmare, I bring my kids and grandkids to see my mother who is still clueless what happened to me. I feel robbed of my
innocence, childhood and love.

Thank You for listening.
Last edited by Harmony on Tue Feb 09, 2021 4:33 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: edited from ST to MT due to some graphic detail
Chessgirl
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Posts: 1377
Joined: Thu Nov 05, 2020 7:45 pm

Re: Starting from the beginning

Post by Chessgirl »

Lorto,
How very brave of you to share. I am so sorry you had to deal with all that! You deserved a childhood, free of such pain, stress, and confusion. I can see how this would interfere with your relationship with your mom today. Sounds like she was drunk most of the time, so perhaps doesn’t even remember half of it. That is so tragic and unfair for you. we are here for you, listening and supporting you.
Chessgirl
lorto
Member
Posts: 24
Joined: Wed Feb 03, 2021 10:42 pm

Re: Starting from the beginning

Post by lorto »

Thank you for kindness:) I have been living with that pain for 40 yrs.
Kokoschka
Member
Posts: 735
Joined: Sun Oct 11, 2020 8:01 am

Re: Starting from the beginning

Post by Kokoschka »

Hello Lorto,
Thanks for sharing your story with us. What your mother did to you and your siblings is so awful. What happened to YOU for trying to help and care for them is devastating. The more admirable then that you don't let the past come between you and still bring your family to see her. You must be a very strong and compassionate person. Kokoschka
Last edited by Harmony on Tue Feb 09, 2021 4:31 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: edited from MT to NT due to no triggering language nor content
..but god bless the child that's got his own... (Billie Holiday)
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