Kokoschka says...

A discussion area specifically for survivors who suffered physical, emotional, and verbal child abuse. This forum can also be used for Members who suffered sexual abuse at the time of physical, emotional and verbal abuse.

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Kokoschka
Member
Posts: 735
Joined: Sun Oct 11, 2020 8:01 am

Re: Kokoschka says...

Post by Kokoschka »

Hello my virtual friends, Coconuts, Dancingfish, Chessgirl, Penguin,

Hope you're all doing well today.

This may sound ridiculous, pathetic, laughable, whatever, but I'm writing from my gut: The way I see things now, the events of the last few weeks here in the forum are making it impossible for me to continue to participate and freely contribute from my thoughts and feelings as best I'm able to. I feel hurt, not validated, and thrown back into that dark and deep pit again.

CROW, I had been here for you with good words, comfort, and suggestions and tried to relate and feel with you as best I could from the moment I joined the forum. So, telling me that you needed your time here to concentrate on topics more relevant for you plainly, and simply hurt my feelings. Our backgrounds and life experiences are often different but we can still relate, validate and show compassion to others. That's at least what I tried to do.

Apparently, it never occurred to you that YOU might have hurt MY feelings. The only reason you contacted me again after we hadn't been in touch for quite a while was to demand an explanation (quite aggressively in my opinion) as to WHY am I ignoring YOU after having been there for you all this time. And how come when you posted on subjects I would have otherwise commented on, I chose to ignore YOU. Again, it obviously never crossed your mind that I might be hurt by your words, regardless of the reason behind them. YOU simply hurt MY feelings. Go figure!

I even apologized to you for possibly having expressed myself, in my responses to you, in a way that might have sounded hurtful to you, and to end this unpleasant exchange I then offered to "bury the hatchet and smoke a peace pipe" together, which you chose to ignore and to which you never replied.

In my eyes, your actions only added insult to injury - I am older than just enough to be your mother, and I think I'm entitled to some respect, at least. As a matter of fact, most of you here could be my children... but it never stopped me from commenting and trying to relate to your problems and contribute from "my life experiences". Whatever, you don't always rock Crow, and you're not always only at the receiving end. You might want to consider that for your future actions.

I wish you all courage, perseverance, well-being, peace of mind, and that you, the little ones, your children, families, all continue to fulfill and achieve your/their plans and dreams.

Kokoschka
Last edited by Harmony on Mon Apr 19, 2021 5:21 pm, edited 3 times in total.
Reason: edited trigger indicator from MT to NT due to language. (use of capitals when addressing another) and tone
..but god bless the child that's got his own... (Billie Holiday)
coconuts
Member
Posts: 5839
Joined: Mon Mar 28, 2016 2:34 am

Re: Kokoschka says...

Post by coconuts »

Kokoschka, im sad for the hurt and the pain you are in. Please know i only wish the best for you. You are always welcome to come comment if there is a need or to be heard. Bless you
Coconuts
Be the Light 🌟 in someone's night.
dancingfish
Member
Posts: 1303
Joined: Sat Dec 20, 2014 9:39 pm

Re: Kokoschka says...

Post by dancingfish »

Dearest Kokoschka, I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling hurt. It's not at all laughable, it's valid and real. I dearly love your presence here, and so much enjoy your participation with us all too. From commenting in a way to relate to and feel what others are sharing as you said, to sharing your own experiences and life here with us. It's such a precious thing, and I'm sorry it's been affected by words here. I feel that hurts may have been caused by mis-intended consequences, but that doesn't make the hurt any less.

Please know you are dearly cared for here. You've touched all of our lives with your bold and bright personality, your charming anecdotes and laughter, and vibrant details of your life. I have pictures of a world of beautiful flowers, an abundance of kitties, delicious coffee set by a window with the Mediterranean light streaming in - and all brought to life through the prism of your wonderful self. You have a place here, right in with all of us. (I understand maybe feeling hesitant about that, perhaps? For some reason I always feel on the outside, even here, where I know it is simply not true. Not for me, nor for you either my dear friend.)

Well I know my more effusive words are both liked and somehow difficult to hear sometimes, so I'll pause! Hope they've been okay to read (and dismiss whatever you do not care for), they're simply said with deep caring for you - I like you, and having you here! Far more important is the gentle and tender care of your beautiful self, though, so please be and do as you wish and need for yourself. Sending you all the dear care and support you could want, and just sitting with you if you'd like a bit of quiet company.
Chessgirl
Member
Posts: 1377
Joined: Thu Nov 05, 2020 7:45 pm

Re: Kokoschka says...

Post by Chessgirl »

Oh kokoschka,

I am so sorry your feelings were hurt. That really bothers me. I’m sure it was a misunderstanding between you and crow. All of your feelings are truly valid. I do understand those feelings very well. Please know how much we love you here! Your input is seriously always so important to me.
Chessgirl
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