Intense and contradictory feelings

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coconuts
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Joined: Mon Mar 28, 2016 2:34 am

Re: Intense and contradictory feelings

Post by coconuts »

Oh crow I am so so happy for you. The way your father supported you is such a relief. You needed some positivity with everything you are struggling with. His sensitivity to your situation muat be such a relief.
May father started saying "I love you" a couple years back. I have to say its very awkward for me. But its still nice to hear. To hear him trying. He always gives me a hug too. I swear the guy never hugged me until just a few years ago. Thats awkward. But in a way i feel like he is apologizing ever time he does. Just a bit, because him ever speaking an apology is way outside his wheelhouse.
Now fingers crossed you land a job quickly and can feel more secure in that way.
I am on medication. I have found it essential if I am under more stress than usual (hello covid). I was off it for a couple years until covid. It definitely doesnt solve the problems. It mostly just takes rhe edge off. Its not a solution in an way. Its a bandaid until you can get the help you actually need (therapy and healing). Otherwise its pointless.

Coconuts
Be the Light 🌟 in someone's night.
Kokoschka
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Joined: Sun Oct 11, 2020 8:01 am

Re: Intense and contradictory feelings

Post by Kokoschka »

Dear, dear Crow,
Well, this is some good and encouraging news!! So happy for you that your father took the time to be with you and really listen to you this time. I guess you must feel a lot lighter now that things are showing signs of clearing up. I express myself carefully as I too am one for the half empty glass. But this is good, really good!!! Hope he also comes forward with respect to "not to worry about the financial aspects" and offers to help you out. And saying "I love you" that's a whole load of shortbread with your tea!! Nobody told me ever they loved me as I come to think of it... my father was too introverted and let his deeds speak for his feelings and my mother, she would have had her tongue cut out first but then, she too let her deeds speak for her feelings :x :x :x

Don't worry about the mood swings, these are just the symptoms :) but seriously, it happens to me too that I'm ok and then in a second it feels like no, actually there's no reason to be good about though NOTHING in the situation changed that should make me feel bad again. Sometimes it's like I can really feel the mood hormones going up and down. Hope you have a better day today, Kokoschka
..but god bless the child that's got his own... (Billie Holiday)
Jonesy
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Re: Intense and contradictory feelings

Post by Jonesy »

Hi Crow
Crow wrote: Fri Jan 22, 2021 4:57 pm I'm the most important person in this whole situation.
Oh boy, did he ever get that right. Baby steps, my friend.
Hope you have a beautiful day making memories with your family 8-)
You are important

Email: jonesy@isurvive.org
Crow
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Joined: Tue Jul 28, 2020 12:22 pm

Re: Intense and contradictory feelings

Post by Crow »

Hi coconuts,
coconuts wrote: Fri Jan 22, 2021 8:51 pm My father started saying "I love you" a couple years back. I have to say its very awkward for me. But its still nice to hear. To hear him trying. He always gives me a hug too. I swear the guy never hugged me until just a few years ago. Thats awkward. But in a way i feel like he is apologizing ever time he does.
That's lovely to hear :)

As you say, for me yesterday was a positive that I needed to hear to lift me up a bit.

Thanks for being here listening.

Crow
A little boy hides in an adult's disguise.
Quote taken from an original poem that I have written.
Crow
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Joined: Tue Jul 28, 2020 12:22 pm

Re: Intense and contradictory feelings

Post by Crow »

Hi Kokoschka,
Kokoschka wrote: Sat Jan 23, 2021 5:51 am So happy for you that your father took the time to be with you and really listen to you this time. I guess you must feel a lot lighter now that things are showing signs of clearing up.
Certainly feeling lighter. But as you said yourself here;
Kokoschka wrote: Sat Jan 23, 2021 5:51 am Don't worry about the mood swings, these are just the symptoms :) but seriously, it happens to me too that I'm ok and then in a second it feels like no, actually there's no reason to be good about though NOTHING in the situation changed that should make me feel bad again.
I have felt this low for periods again today... so frustrating.

Oh, and I think I read somewhere else on another of your posts about not knowing how to directly quote... so, if it's okay with you I'll tell you (took me a while at the start to figure it out myself).
When you reply to a post if you scroll below the text box you type your message in and find the person's post you want to quote from. Click on the speech mark button top right of their post and it will copy the whole thing into your text box. Then delete the parts you don't want in the message you are typing, but leave the beginning and end text that is in the brackets [ ] and you should have it. Type the rest of your message before and after as you wish. Then hit preview to check out how it looks, and if you're happy, hit that submit button! ;)
That's how I do it anyway. Someone else may tell me I do it the long way... :?

Crow
A little boy hides in an adult's disguise.
Quote taken from an original poem that I have written.
Crow
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Posts: 1434
Joined: Tue Jul 28, 2020 12:22 pm

Re: Intense and contradictory feelings

Post by Crow »

Hi Jonesy,

Really appreciate your reply. I think a lot of my worries were my own anxieties about talking to him. Totally valid and based on past experience, but I guess I couldn't gauge how he was going to respond as I've not been in this situation before. It's been hard acknowledging that I have hit a brick wall and had to quit a job due to mental health.
Like you say Jonesy, baby steps!

Crow
A little boy hides in an adult's disguise.
Quote taken from an original poem that I have written.
penguin
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Posts: 599
Joined: Wed Sep 18, 2019 11:44 pm

Re: Intense and contradictory feelings

Post by penguin »

I'm still happy your dad responded positively to you, Crow! That is great news!

Thinking of you and wishing you well,
Penguin
Kokoschka
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Joined: Sun Oct 11, 2020 8:01 am

Re: Intense and contradictory feelings

Post by Kokoschka »

Thank you Crow, that's what I did to quote but then I got scared of my own courage :o :o :o and deleted the whole thing.
Seriously now, hope you're having a good Sunday with the family and once you get off here, I can see you :geek: :lol: :lol: and provided the weather is good that you'll go out and have a wonderful walk together and see lots of squirrels and birds and crows :lol: Later, Kokoschka
..but god bless the child that's got his own... (Billie Holiday)
Crow
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Joined: Tue Jul 28, 2020 12:22 pm

Re: Intense and contradictory feelings

Post by Crow »

Thank you Penguin :) I've been reading your stories from your igloo :lol: Just trying to fit in all the replies to various threads and haven't made it there yet. Glad to see you have a babysitter sorted out now - hope that goes well ;)

Crow
A little boy hides in an adult's disguise.
Quote taken from an original poem that I have written.
Crow
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Posts: 1434
Joined: Tue Jul 28, 2020 12:22 pm

Re: Intense and contradictory feelings

Post by Crow »

Morning Kokoschka,

Your post did make me chuckle :D
Kokoschka wrote: Sun Jan 24, 2021 10:08 am Seriously now, hope you're having a good Sunday with the family and once you get off here, I can see you :geek: :lol: :lol:
It is raining here unfortunately and will be for most of the day now, but if it eases up we shall hopefully get out for a bit of fresh air. (Usually we drive to a local woodland and pond and feed the ducks, swans, doves and corvids - crows, rooks, and jackdaws for those who are unfamiliar with the scientific name. And usually we try and tempt the squirrels to come close and take food from our hands, but as yet no such luck.)
We will likely play some board games if it keeps raining.

Hope you are having a good Sunday Kokoschka, and Amy is feeling a little better.

Crow
A little boy hides in an adult's disguise.
Quote taken from an original poem that I have written.
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