Superstition anybody??

[coconuts]

Ha, same.
My T had me do an intensely uncomfortable exercise the other day where he showed me 2 different ways to accept a compliment (1 was just a mirror of what I do and the other was a good example) then he challenged me to accept a compliment from him trying to do it the way he said. Ugh
I tried I really did but I could not. It felt so uncomfortable on so many levels. He told me in some ways Im uncomfortable letting good things happen. But i got to thinking, as a child I got very few compliments and if I did they were frightening. Like they would be used against me or something. It seemed like trickery. Waiting for the consequence. Or they were "compliments " for things I didnt want to be, things I was ashamed of.

Its cold here too. Froze my tuckish off at the funeral on Tuesday. My toes turned to ice. Just a real drop in temperature that i dont much appreciate. I do think its nice the weather saved you from watering, thats always a perk.

Coconuts

[there]

Hi, Kokoshka, just wanted to saying I’m reading the newer posts and thinking of you

[Kokoschka]

Thank you There but what makes you think of me??? I'm already embarrassed
Obviously, I want people to like me, who doesn't but the moment someone says that or shows it by doing something I'm totally confused and made uncomfortable wishing they had NOT said or done that. Well, it's not like I'm being showered in love and compliments all the time so that's the reason I react so awkward, I guess. When my husband tells me he loves I don't believe him, not really. We fought over that more than once because he gets offended that I doubt his feelings and words but there's nothing I can do about it. I would have to be taken apart and put together again before that can happen

How are you? Hope your day is a good one, Kokoschka

[there]

Kokoshka,

What makes me think of you?

I think of what people say to me here.

I care about other isurvive members

I want to remember to share things that make me happy and proud, as you suggested.

Thinking of you and others here reminds me that I'm cared for and that I'm part of this online support group.

Your screen name is memorable.

[Kokoschka]

Thank you There
Just cuddling poor Amy, one of our tricolors, who had all her teeth pulled about 2 weeks ago. She's not better yet and l really worry about her. She's so tiny, disturbed and scared now.

Apparently it was necessary as she suffers from stomatitis, an immune system disease thar attacks the teeth and gums.

Kokoschka

[coconuts]

There, you are so right. We care about you and you are a part of us. We are happy for your victories and supportive in your pain. Your are a strong force to behold. Inspiring.

Coconuts

[coconuts]

Kokoschka, so sorry for Amy. I do hope she gathers more strength and courage. Poor kitty.

I found that accepting compliments online is a good first step to at least learning how to somewhat graciously deal with them. in 3D Im quite dreadful at it. I scoff at my husband when he does. I turn away and mumble when others compliment me. I really cant handle that yet. Apparently my T intends to tackle that lol. I'll let you know in 10 years how successful thats been.
Coconuts

[Crow]

It feels great to be in such fine company on the compliment front

Crow

[Kokoschka]

Coconuts,
Thanks for the well wishes for Amy, she really needs them

Further on compliments, I thought of opening a thread on the subject of looks... which has been my "heavy cross" since l realized there's such a thing and that my entire life will be affected by the lack of them. On top of everything else lacking the external necessary assets to get by in this world hasn't made me exactly familiar with compliments. So good there's such a thing as "online compliments" then, Kokoschka

[coconuts]

I'm quite sure you are plenty attractive. We tend to much more harshly judge ourselves and most of the good looking portrayals are merely fake depictions of people, air brushed.
But on the opposite end of that its not all that its made up to be having looks and "assets." I am definitely past that stage now. But in my younger days I was not too shabby. I was tall, with a lightly tanned smooth complexion, lots of hair, and well endowed if you know what I mean. And it definitely brought me the wrong kind of attention. I was one of the more preferred girls at the house. Usually being chosen before others. Meaning I was usually on the "job" constantly while there. I was the relentless receiver of catcalls all thru my teens and 20s. I've been objectified as a woman and presumed to be stupid because I was attractive. I couldn't possibly have brains in there could I? Often that was the only thing people would see. I've had more inappropriate remarks by people of power (teachers, church leaders, bosses, therapists) who all commented that I should use my looks to satisfy them. I've been groped, grabbed at, cornered as if my attractiveness gave them some silent permission to touch me. Thus the comments on my looks usually just brings me deep shame. Makes me feel like that's all I am wanted for. Makes me ashamed of the extra attention I have collected because of it.

Now thoroughly past that stage. I haven't had such compliment in a few years. Since I gained a bit of weight. I look at my daughters though and cringe a bit. My sister this weekend was going on and on about how beautiful my 12 year old is. And she really is. But I want her to be seen as something more than pleasing to the eye. I want her to not have to be gawked at. Or feel uncomfortable around men because of their constant stupid remarks. I don't want men to grab at her and touch her all the time. It makes me sad for her.

So yeah when my husband makes compliments and I roll my eyes and walk away its not necessarily because I don't believe him. Its cause I am ashamed of the idea. Then again I don't deal with any compliment all that well so he would never know.