Using documentation to revise my story

[Squiggy]

I got a reply today. The documents I requested were destroyed long ago in accordance with state law.
Well, bummer.

[Crow]

How frustrating Squiggy... sending caring thoughts your way.

Crow

[Chessgirl]

Bummer squiggy. I’m so sorry.

[Squiggy]

So I've been reading the newspaper archive some more, looking for more clues on how to fit some memories together and fill in missing pieces, and now I have to make another revision to my story based on what I've read.

In short, the incident at Mc Donald's, which I had thought took place in December 1989, almost certainly happened no earlier than December 1990, and maybe even early 1991.

My father and I went to the Mc Donald's for breakfast because it was a Monday, and my mother had started her weekly vigil for the garbage collector. We only started going to that Mc Donald's after another restaurant that was closer to home went out of business, something I remember discovering on December 3. While I haven't found any news articles that explicitly say it closed then, I did find an article from later in December 1990 that said the restaurant building, and two others owned by the same company, were being sold. Also, there were help-wanted ads for one of those other restaurants as late as October 1990. If all three went out of business at the same time, a reasonable guess, it means they were all still operating at the end of 1989.

And, of course, there's the calendar to check. December 3, 1990, was a Monday. December 3, 1989, was a Sunday. We would not have gone there on a Sunday.

That means I was not in fifth grade at the time, but sixth. The incident may not have even taken place during the month of December, although I'm fairly certain that it was still during cold weather, and I also don't remember it being a very recent memory at the time of the July 29, 1991 incident (a date in which I have a lot more confidence.) Still, since I now know there were, at most, a little less than eight months between the two incidents, that means my parents managed to slip past the law twice in less than one year.

Now I must try to think why I'd placed the incident in 1989 in the first place, perhaps I'd conflated it with something else. I'll also have to double check some other things related to this incident to see if they also need to be revised. That newspaper archive has been a godsend. I will continue reading it and maybe discover more clues.

[Squiggy]

I've thought this over some more. In particular, I've been trying to recall the moment when the school principal came looking for me. She had dark hair, which also points toward this happening during sixth grade, because I went to a different school for fifth grade and the principal there had gray hair. On the other hand, there was a distinctive computer in the room, unusual for the late 80s or early 90s, which I just cannot picture when thinking about the moment the principal walked into the room. With the majority of the evidence now pointing to the incident taking place in 1990 rather than 1989, I have to assume that maybe my back was to the computer, or maybe this decades-old memory is flawed.

And the more I think about it, the less confidence I have in my post in another thread that I started getting stuck with unproductive visits to the school counselor on Wednesday, February 14, 1990. I am starting to think it might have been Thursday, February 14, 1991. Even though I can't be certain that the incident led directly to the weekly appointments, I don't recall seeing her before the incident. And while not exactly conclusive, Wednesdays just feel wrong when I think about it, and Thursdays feel right. I'm not sure how I would go about verifying it, though.

Does anyone have any thoughts about this, or any ways I can prove or disprove my theories?

[coconuts]

Finding solid evidence in childhood memories is hard. For one thing, during stressful moments we tend to filter out a lot of details. The background, whatever. Your brain only keeps what is important to it. Some details may seem invalid in the moment. Sometimes it keeps details that don't make sense or seem so stupid. Sometimes the memories are more like swiss cheese.its okay though, it doesnt invalidate anything. The way your mother treated you was awful and the way the world turned its back on you. It seems like everyone was always too nervous to ever actually truly help.
Coconuts

[Oceantide]

The only records I've tried to retrieve were my childhood medical records, but it was too long ago and they are all destroyed. Even the elementary school is gone.

As for memories and dates, the only external validation I've received was an email my mother sent me in 2014 after she knew I was claiming to be an incest survivor, but hadn't disclosed any details to her or family members. She said "God revealed" to her when the incest with my father started, then said she'd been hospitalized in a psych ward when I was 11-13 months, and on the same weekend as a national trauma (so I can date it precisely) he drove with me across the state to visit her; he told her "he felt traumatized" because a policeman stopped him for molesting his baby at a rest stop. I had already had this memory two years prior, and knew that he had raped me, but didn't know where it happened, and told my t I was probably about 18 months old.

The takeaway, for me, is to trust the memories I have had, yet not worry too much about the exact details and dates.

[Squiggy]

Just got another batch of documents. They didn't have as much new information as I'd hoped, but there was some, enough to put dates on some events where I was unsure of the chronology.