didn't think I'd be posting here!

[EasyStreet]

Hi,

This morning I was able to assert myself with my wife, and negotiate her defense mechanisms, and actually convince her that my assertiveness is something she should be happy about, instead of me sitting there feeling resentful because I'm witholding/hiding my self, and then blow up in anger three hours later. She got it, I think.

I have also stopped listening to minor key music, and it has had an effect. Crazy but I'll take it.

Be well!

[reisha]

Interestin connection bout the minor keys music, easy - why do ya think that is?

[EasyStreet]

Hi reisha,

Which came first the chicken or the egg? attraction to minor keys caused by or causing depression?

My dreaming has changed, subconscious has been working all this time, and I presume it has taken some goodies from my conscious intentional processing and has integrated them into my lower level subroutines.

Polyvagal Theory and increased meditation? I just started magnesium supplements too.

I have no clue. It just happened. If I was doing science I'd only change one variable at a time, but I'm not doing science, I'm trying to manage my life.

I wrote a little poem in the poetry section that describes another view on these changes, Grace. So it might be nothing at all!

But it's the most positive transition for me since you guys have known me and I'll take it!!!

[Flifflo]

That’s huge Easystreet. When you have those internal mental shifts in how you react/respond to people. It can seem small to a bystander but it really is huge. I’ve been feeling some of those shifts myself. Sometimes the responses just seem to come out of me from I don’t know where. And then I’m like “wow, that just happened “.

Sounds like you are changing and healing. That. Is. Awesome.

Warmly,
Flifflo

[EasyStreet]

It's weird, Flifflo, every time I have a break-thru like that it seems to be followed by more hard learning. Like a break in the storm, But I've edged a little closer to the truth for the trying. Travelling hard miles, aren't we?

Be well!

[reisha]

Yup. Ebb & flow.
Im so pleased to read this.

Ive gone thru periods of ...'intense dreamss'. Not quitr nitemares, but certianly ... unpleasantt. Deep. Foo. Shit. Integrating, tricccklin down into my very soul. Foo places, foo people, but diff foo dynamics, over & over for months. I kinda regret not kepin a diary, there was sum Good Stuff gettin processed, finally, after 50 yrs. (Far too long to carry thses burdens!)

&, i wonder too, bout .... more 'cosmic' forces at work. From 'mindfullness' to 'woke', to ancient variations of same. The ability to tap into that wealth of energy, 'woke', or not.... i think it to, ebbs & flows


Sending massive wellness vibes yer way

[Flifflo]

Easystreet, Yes we are but isn’t it getting a little better all the time? it’s totally up and down for me too. Good and then really rough but it feels like I’m moving forward and those moments when I stick up for myself without even thinking about it seem monumental. And I totally get the whole part about doing it without becoming reactive. It’s amazing and feels revolutionary to me since I have had overreactions my entire life without even realizing it. That was just my normal. It’s such a relief to know why now and to know I had good reasons for it. And to start moving past it. Hallelujah!!!! And it’s no picnic either. Gotta feel all the feelings. All that stuff that I trapped. It’s been a long time for me too Reisha. I do think it ebbs and flows in an upward, enlightening, relieving general direction.

Here’s to healing for us all!!!

[EasyStreet]

Yes, I think it is an upward path, hard but you can get somewhere. You guys are the greatest.

[there]

ES,
Any assertiveness is worth celebrating! WOOT!!! I struggle to keep up with the demand for it. Though, sometimes, my assertiveness is internal, and doesn't involve speaking out. Choosing battles....

[EasyStreet]

The demand for assertiveness. Interesting idea, there. I'll ponder that.

Sometimes, I feel the ground beneath my feet dissolving (like sand when the wave goes out) while I try to get out one coherent statement before it all crumbles.

But it is getting better.