i went to a support group

[mitsu]

while i have clear memories of the assaults and harrasments in my adult life, i have been in the last years since TBI having really strong feelings come up about family members that have led me to seek support in a group from other survivors.

i grew up using the computer to escape being in my body and also to research about abuse (interpersonal and cultural/large scale). sometimes i re traumatize myself by becoming addicted to online research of sexual assault and abuse related topics agai nfor a night, only the next day to feel deeply that I can't do that again.

I'm sharing because if you have the option to find a group, even to sit with people who are sharing their stories, its such a difference from the infinity feeling of online space. it might help you like it has helped me. now im gona go once a week, and hope to curb my internet addict trauma response- to seek more trauma/retraumatize by overstimulating internet content. i grew up overexposed and numb so it makes sense i seek that as a normal but, im older now and can choose to care for myself and to be sensitive. being in physical space with others practicing this was a world of insight and im going to continue to go.

thanks as well to this space.

learning to see that i am not alone even if part of me feels that way.

also random but if anyones listening to podcasts, "how to survive the end of the world" is hosted by 2 sisters who are survivors and recently they had an episode about mj and sensitivity to changing relationship to cultural icons who are finally being recognized as abusers, this shift in their own relationships to the artist was interesting and i felt myself grow strong from the content and wanted to share.

much love to you all.

mitsu

[EasyStreet]

I'd probably like to try one. In a bit, I think. Still looking for marriage improvement, since it has been killing me.

Maybe my old t can suggest one.

Thanks, friend!