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Something really amazing happened tonight. My husband said something that in the past would have made my heart start racing and I wouldn’t have been able to let it go and then I would visibly be upset or say something. Then my husband would react to that and it would all spin out of control and I would leave the house........ but this time..... I just didn’t get upset. I said my piece without my heart racing. In the past I couldn’t do that. It’s like I couldn’t disagree with someone without my body going into overdrive. Hyper vigilance, I guess. It was really amazing. It feels so good!!!!!!!

Just wanted to share. Thanks for listening
Flifflo

Yay. That's great. It's trickling outwards and helping. I love it

Thanks Coconuts,

It seems like a small thing but it feels huge to me. That heart pounding thing has always come so easily to me in the face of conflict. I think it’s hangover from my people pleasing tendencies I learned in order to get attention from my father. Conflict has always felt like a potential end of things. Because that’s what it would have been/was with my father.

And I couldn’t have articulated any of this a couple months ago. Understanding these things is definitely helpful but actually being able to have control over my reaction? It’s huge for me. HUGE. And makes me feel hopeful.

And I remembered seeing this forum and thought this fit here. First time I’ve been here at all. Tonight I’m feeling some relief. Thanks for listening,
Flifflo

Wow that’s great. I want to have EMDR but am being told no at the moment

Hello Booklover, It’s interesting. I’m hearing lots of different approaches to EMDR. My therapist seems to be happy to dig right in. I think she just goes with whatever I feel like doing. I haven’t had to back off. Tho I do have a hard time sticking with focusing on my abuser so I don’t know what that means for me. It really has helped stuff come up that I couldn’t get to. And slowly, I am noticing little changes in the way I react/respond/relate to people. It’s a really good thing.

Flifflo, from what I understand people have different ways of approaching it all. My t said some dive right into the deep and he said others are very conservative. I know it also depends on if you have problems with dissociation and how big those problems are and what exactly they are. And yes they will often trickle off i to seemingly unrelated areas but I think lots of things are connected we don't realize.

I'm so glad you are seeing the benefit of it.

{{{Flifflo!!!}}}

What wonderful news!
Im happpy to read that this treatment is producin such positive results for ya.
It IS huge, that ya recognize the ...'changes in reactivity' w in yerself.
Good Work!!!

Sendin tons of admiration & continued support

Coconuts,

I totally understand how someone who dissociates would have to go slowly. I was kind of wondering if my t was trying to rush me but I think I’m doing ok with it all.

{{{Reisha!!!}}} Thank you!

Thanks for the support everyone. Still have lots to process but feeling pretty well today.
Thanks for listening,
Flifflo