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Getting there! Feeling good and a little crazy!!! :)

Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2018 7:10 pm
by flowermelt
So today I really treated myself guys! After posting about my SA the other day, and having a terrible week with my alcoholic and suicidal brother causing me and my mother enormous stress, today i got my hair done, my lashes (they're so long, i love them) and bought some new shoes, went for a lovely meal (it was a bit expensive) but i REALLY enjoyed myself!

When i woke up today i really had no motivation and couldn't face going out and sometimes i think, "ahh what's the point in anything?"! But i decided to DRAG myself to do these things, and now i feel so much better and already so much more proud of myself. I had a lovely day! :)

Next i'm booking a massage! I'm very tired but i know that at least i'm going to have a great sleep tonight! I'm working for the next seven nights so i thought i'd squeeze it all in in one day!! :lol:

I just want to say thank you guys for your support as i don't think i would have this new found motivation to look after and treat myself if it wasn't for all your kind words and support! And i haven't even been here for a week!

Guys, also do the same- accept minus the nails lol!!! As Loreal says, "BECAUSE YOU'RE WORTH IT"!
Sometimes it's the little things that make us feel great!

The road to recovery is a hot and cold process! I know i have much to come! And today i may be on a high, and tomorrow i may be on a low! The point is... after a terrible and i mean TERRIBLE week i managed to turn the situation right around by DOING positive things! Even though before hand i did not want to do them things as my mind and my life (Seemingly) was in a negative place!

I will NEVER stop fighting for my recovery and to have my confidence, self-esteem and self love back! I'm feeling so good about myself right now, and to be honest, stronger than ever! I will do whatever it takes, and to every survivor on this forum, YOU WILL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES! I will support and take your hand!!!

NEVER EVER give up!!! Treat yourself, praise yourself, love yourself and EXPRESS yourself! I never realised the power of self-expression and how relieved and so much better i feel after expressing myself! I was bought up in a home where i was conditioned to hold it all in, not to cry and told "it was wrong to feel angry, sad or stressed". The truth is there is NOTHING wrong with feeling angry, sad or stressed, or any type of unpleasant emotion.It doesn't make you a negative person to feel any type of unpleasant emotion, including even jealousy or hatred. It's what makes us human to feel these emotions. We wouldn't be human if we didn't feel any unpleasant feelings.

What is wrong is when we HOLD these emotions in. And that's when they get out of control and taint our thoughts, behaviour and therefore our lives! But being able to express how we are feeling is what sets us free! It's no different than going for a poo and getting all the waste food out of our bodies lol ! :lol: Pun intended!!! But honestly it isn't!!! These unpleasant feelings NEED to come out of us, and whether it's writing them down, expressing them on this forum (which i personally find a wonderful idea as it's full of pleasant friendly lovely people who are kind and understanding!) they need to come out, as they are WASTE and no good to stay in our bodies!!! The tightness in my belly i kept feeling and explaining in my posts IS going! Because i'm finally expressing myself (to you lovely amazing souls) and all the (emotional) waste is coming out!!! [Remember the poo analogy?] :lol:

So guys, express yourself (infact ESPECIALLY if it's not a pleasant feeling, it's better in than OUT)!!! I never realised the importance of self expression until i joined here and poured my heart and soul out to you guys! I am also going to start therapy soon! :D

Much love, flowermelt xxx

Re: Getting there! Feeling good and a little crazy!!! :)

Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2018 7:28 pm
by Harmony
Thanks flowermelt,

Behold the power of self care. Glad you found a way to give back to yourself after working so hard. Change is difficult. It is great to reward strong work with things that soothe.

with care,

Re: Getting there! Feeling good and a little crazy!!! :)

Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2018 8:02 pm
by flowermelt
Thank you harmony! :) i honestly feel so much stronger and confident in myself! I really believe i can do this and become the strong woman i was destined to be!

Lots of love, flowermelt xxx

Re: Getting there! Feeling good and a little crazy!!! :)

Posted: Sat Oct 13, 2018 2:23 am
by kirchnercolors
so happy for you flowermelt!! your day sounded amazing!! thank you for inspirting me when i’m down tonight.