Six Months!

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Writer203
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Joined: Tue Jul 26, 2011 11:18 pm

Six Months!

Post by Writer203 » Sat Apr 20, 2013 2:48 am

I just realized last week that it's been six months (well, almost seven now...) since I moved away from my FOO. Six months! Half a year! In the grand scheme of things, six months is not a long amount of time. But it seems like it's been so long since I packed up my things and moved 3 1/2 hours away.

I feel like a totally different person. I was terrified to be out on my own. My grandparents had convinced everyone in the family that they didn't have the smarts/guts/emotional fortitude to live more than 30 minutes away from the family compound. They were supportive in my moving to the next state over for college, but filled my head with doubt on vacations when I said I wanted to live there. This is part of the reason why I didn't apply for my teaching license right away; I wasn't quite sure, after four months of hearing intense criticism on everything from my skin to my exercise routine, that I could run a classroom by myself. Despite the fact that I had done very well in my student teaching and the kids loved me. But even if I couldn't run a classroom, I know how to manage a budget and cook for myself, so living on my own seemed feasible. It was bumpy at first, but now I really feel like I've gotten the hang of it.

My mental health has gotten so much better since I moved out. Everyone I know has commented on how different I look, even though I haven't changed my physical appearance at all. I feel more relaxed, both in body and mind, and I like the opportunity to concentrate just on me...instead of on whatever drama my family is going through. My confidence is at an all-time high. I'm sending in the paperwork for my teaching license this weekend and hope to have a better job by the fall. Or at least I will if my professors ever write me those letters of recommendation they said they'd write. I'm also not nearly as self-critical as I used to be. I used to feel guilty about everything I did wrong, from getting lost on my way to an appointment to forgetting to clean out the dryer lint. This is mostly because my grandmother used to harp on me for everything I did wrong. Now, I cut myself the slack I so desperately needed back then. Especially in my job. Clinically, I know that toddlers (my students) are top-heavy with horrible coordination. I also know that shoving 12 of these into a closet-sized classroom along with four teachers and a boatload of toys is going to result in a lot of accidental injuries. Still, every time I bumped into a child and made him fall, I felt horribly guilty. I've managed to work past that. Heck, I elbowed a child in the face this week when I turned around suddenly and was surprised to find that I didn't feel guilty at all! At least, not in the soul-crushing, I'm-a-horrible-person-I-don't-deserve-anything-nice kind of way. I still felt horrible. I gave the poor boy a bruise on his cheekbone! But after lots of hugs, kisses, and one huge apology, he still wanted to sit on my lap for story time and be my helper when I had to do my list of chores at the end of the night, so I assume I'm forgiven.

Six months! Did I mention it's been six months? Can't wait to see where I am in October, when I'll reach my year mark. :D

Sheep
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Re: Six Months!

Post by Sheep » Sat Apr 20, 2013 10:23 pm

What a hopeful post, writer! Thanks for sharing...

Sheep

silentlistener
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Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2011 7:37 am

Re: Six Months!

Post by silentlistener » Sun Apr 21, 2013 12:41 am

Hi Writer,

Good luck on applying for that license! I'm confident you will be a ggreat elementary ed. teacher. What a hopeful post!
It's' how you carry yourself, not your physical appearance.

I am still planning to frame mine. Congrats!

SL

HealingHearts
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Joined: Thu May 17, 2012 11:32 pm

Re: Six Months!

Post by HealingHearts » Sun Apr 21, 2013 3:36 am

Writer,
I am so happy for you. I can feel the ease in your words. I am so glad you are out from under that terrible, stifling FOO. I think you will go very far!!!

You go girl

cheering you on

HH
Together we are stronger...

Harmony
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Re: Six Months!

Post by Harmony » Sun Apr 21, 2013 11:30 pm

Glad you are making progress Writer203. This long term day by day growth is awesome. It is one thing to do it for a day. It is another to get out there and do it for life. Change is so daunting but so gratifying.

Here's to living a very good life. This is the best revenge, your own success and happiness.

warm wishes,
Harmony

Writer203
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Posts: 186
Joined: Tue Jul 26, 2011 11:18 pm

Re: Six Months!

Post by Writer203 » Mon Apr 22, 2013 10:44 pm

Thanks for the replies. I sent in my teaching license stuff today (because I didn't wake up in time on Saturday to go to the post office), so hopefully that should be coming in soon. I need out of this job. I'm so run down!

And another reason to celebrate: My sister M had her baby! I'm an aunt! With a niece. How weird is that? I feel far too young to be an aunt (though I'm not as young as my youngest sibling, who is now an aunt at the age of 4!).
Last edited by Harmony on Wed Aug 07, 2013 2:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: edited trigger indicator from MT to NT

maggiegirl
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Re: Six Months!

Post by maggiegirl » Wed Aug 07, 2013 4:06 am

Great news! You will gain confidence with each passing day! When you get that teaching job ask to see other teachers planning books. A veteran teacher can really help mentor and build confidence. I knew how to lesson plan but did not know how to frame out the whole year until I sat with a veteran teacher and she coached me!

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