wow im posting in a positve forum yeeppee
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wow im posting in a positve forum yeeppee
hi all,
i am in a very strange place today, emotions and feelings have been all over the place but now i have allowed myself to settle i am just so proud of myself..
i am having major issues with physical contact..it doesnt matter however safe it may be.
im even struggling with my kids and cuddles,
anyway, my chiropractor who i have been with for 9 years obviously knows i have past issues and knows its all getting to much at the moment, even in sessions with her.so she thought maybe a holistic massage may be of benefit. for me to learn that there is safe touch, and not sexual..she kindly gave me 3 free sessions..i have never allowed anyone to do this before, even friendly hugs are on my terms..my T even thought this could be a good thing for me...so....
today was the first one..I ACTUALLY WENT..
i cannot believe i did..
i even managed to stay the whole 45 minutes..
ok i cried the whole way through, and was on alert the whole time.
but i have never experienced anything like it before,
the feelings were so weird,
i didnt hate it but im not sure if i liked it either.
i was a little dissociated after and it has taken me all afternoon to ground myself,
but i did it..
i have experienced safe, non sexual touch,
and i didnt freak out..
yeeppee..
safe huggles everyone..
i am in a very strange place today, emotions and feelings have been all over the place but now i have allowed myself to settle i am just so proud of myself..
i am having major issues with physical contact..it doesnt matter however safe it may be.
im even struggling with my kids and cuddles,
anyway, my chiropractor who i have been with for 9 years obviously knows i have past issues and knows its all getting to much at the moment, even in sessions with her.so she thought maybe a holistic massage may be of benefit. for me to learn that there is safe touch, and not sexual..she kindly gave me 3 free sessions..i have never allowed anyone to do this before, even friendly hugs are on my terms..my T even thought this could be a good thing for me...so....
today was the first one..I ACTUALLY WENT..
i cannot believe i did..
i even managed to stay the whole 45 minutes..
ok i cried the whole way through, and was on alert the whole time.
but i have never experienced anything like it before,
the feelings were so weird,
i didnt hate it but im not sure if i liked it either.
i was a little dissociated after and it has taken me all afternoon to ground myself,
but i did it..
i have experienced safe, non sexual touch,
and i didnt freak out..
yeeppee..
safe huggles everyone..
misc..
I will surprise myself and others and get through another day..
Diversity is one thing we all have in common..celebrate it every day..
I will surprise myself and others and get through another day..
Diversity is one thing we all have in common..celebrate it every day..
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Re: wow im posting in a positve forum yeeppee
misc, wow, congratulations! Way to be! ((((((((misc))))))))
"Isn't it bewildering…that everything is so beautiful, despite all the horrors that exist?" ~Sophie Scholl
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Re: wow im posting in a positve forum yeeppee
Way to go misc
This is fantastic. I am so glad you feel proud of yourself too. Today, you've taken yourself out of your comfort zone, and faced a fear head on..... and had a really positive experience.
I really hope you feel secure enough to go for the other two..... and who knows.... maybe, more?
Well done you
This is fantastic. I am so glad you feel proud of yourself too. Today, you've taken yourself out of your comfort zone, and faced a fear head on..... and had a really positive experience.
I really hope you feel secure enough to go for the other two..... and who knows.... maybe, more?
Well done you
FB Delicately changing my name because I don't need to fight anymore.
Be true to yourself
Never sacrifice who you are just because someone has a problem with it
Be true to yourself
Never sacrifice who you are just because someone has a problem with it
Re: wow im posting in a positve forum yeeppee
(((misc)))
What a wonderful accomplishment....so proud of you for doing the thing you thought you could not do.
Hugs,
AbuseWarrior
What a wonderful accomplishment....so proud of you for doing the thing you thought you could not do.
Hugs,
AbuseWarrior
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Re: wow im posting in a positve forum yeeppee
Misc
Well done, what an achievement!!
I'm jumping up and down for you
Hopesnoes
Well done, what an achievement!!
I'm jumping up and down for you
Hopesnoes
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Re: wow im posting in a positve forum yeeppee
MISC
We have been crazy busy but wanted to say YIPPPEEE
We are thrilled that you took this very great step. How wonderful this is for you. We are giddy with joy for you. We are sending you a big hug!!!! We know that you are on your way to being able to feel the goodness of a hug!
Way to go Misc!
Love,
HealingHearts
We have been crazy busy but wanted to say YIPPPEEE
We are thrilled that you took this very great step. How wonderful this is for you. We are giddy with joy for you. We are sending you a big hug!!!! We know that you are on your way to being able to feel the goodness of a hug!
Way to go Misc!
Love,
HealingHearts
Together we are stronger...
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Re: wow im posting in a positve forum yeeppee
thanks guys..
i did have all your names in my hand the whole time.
that so helped..
what a strange feeling it was afterwards.
i felt sort of light and empty.
i even slept better that night, which was a right achievement for me..
no dreams either.
not sure if it was because of the massage, but im not complaining..
the only thing that was negative was i seemed to be more focused on me that evening.
i couldnt have a bath, look at me, or let my partner touch me.
and the same was at work the day after.
i struggled with any touch atall.
it seemed and felt really intensive.
not sure if that makes sense.
it has died down now and im back to it all being on my terms and im in control once more..
but i coped, i got through it without freaking out,
so i did alright..
thankyou all so much once again for being there..
they say 3d support is important,
but i dont know what id do without all of you.
huge safe hugs
xxxx
i did have all your names in my hand the whole time.
that so helped..
what a strange feeling it was afterwards.
i felt sort of light and empty.
i even slept better that night, which was a right achievement for me..
no dreams either.
not sure if it was because of the massage, but im not complaining..
the only thing that was negative was i seemed to be more focused on me that evening.
i couldnt have a bath, look at me, or let my partner touch me.
and the same was at work the day after.
i struggled with any touch atall.
it seemed and felt really intensive.
not sure if that makes sense.
it has died down now and im back to it all being on my terms and im in control once more..
but i coped, i got through it without freaking out,
so i did alright..
thankyou all so much once again for being there..
they say 3d support is important,
but i dont know what id do without all of you.
huge safe hugs
xxxx
misc..
I will surprise myself and others and get through another day..
Diversity is one thing we all have in common..celebrate it every day..
I will surprise myself and others and get through another day..
Diversity is one thing we all have in common..celebrate it every day..
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Re: wow im posting in a positve forum yeeppee
Dear misc,
Welcome to the wonderful world of Our Positive Transitions.
may there be many more,
Harmony
Welcome to the wonderful world of Our Positive Transitions.
may there be many more,
Harmony
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Re: wow im posting in a positve forum yeeppee
Hi misc
That was wonderful to read, facing fears head on takes strength, and I applaud your chiropractor's sensitivity.
Have you made use of session 2 yet?
That was wonderful to read, facing fears head on takes strength, and I applaud your chiropractor's sensitivity.
Have you made use of session 2 yet?
You are important
Email: jonesy@isurvive.org
Email: jonesy@isurvive.org
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- Member
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Re: wow im posting in a positve forum yeeppee
jonesy,
session 2 is in january..we thought it best to have a bit of a gap inbetween..
feeling a little scared for the next one as she said she will try to focus on arms and legs,which i didnt allow her to touch last time..
i can only try and see what happens.
at least i am trying as i wouldnt have even tolorated the idea 6 months ago.
i feel i am making small steps all the time..
it so helps having everyone here who listens,understands and supports me..
i never thought i would be able to open up and be so honest to people before,then i found this place..
i am truly grateful to everyone..
to say im moving forward is a great feeling..
safe hugs
session 2 is in january..we thought it best to have a bit of a gap inbetween..
feeling a little scared for the next one as she said she will try to focus on arms and legs,which i didnt allow her to touch last time..
i can only try and see what happens.
at least i am trying as i wouldnt have even tolorated the idea 6 months ago.
i feel i am making small steps all the time..
it so helps having everyone here who listens,understands and supports me..
i never thought i would be able to open up and be so honest to people before,then i found this place..
i am truly grateful to everyone..
to say im moving forward is a great feeling..
safe hugs
misc..
I will surprise myself and others and get through another day..
Diversity is one thing we all have in common..celebrate it every day..
I will surprise myself and others and get through another day..
Diversity is one thing we all have in common..celebrate it every day..