Personal benefits from being a moderator at Isurvive

This is a safe area that discusses stories and experiences of a positive nature surrounding healing, for the abused and loved ones. This area is safe from triggering and explicit material.

Moderators: Harmony, ajei

Site Admin
Site Admin
Posts: 5437
Joined: Tue Nov 29, 2011 8:10 pm

Personal benefits from being a moderator at Isurvive

Post by Harmony » Fri Nov 02, 2012 6:32 pm

It has been my privilege to serve as a moderator at Isurvive now for just a little bit. I want to share with the general membership some of the personal benefits I have experienced in doing this work.
First of all it isn't work. It is a variety of things some which are the experiences of joy, love, fun, heart wrenching and team work.
You are never alone here. The camaraderie of survivors working together world-wide from every niche of society is comforting. It is much more palpable as a moderator and I can not put my finger on that at the moment.
I personally am less frightened in the world. I am realizing how much we are all alike.
I am better in touch with my humanity. I always felt like the only one, the problem, not present and blahbityblahblah. I come in as Harmony and suddenly I am just another human circling the the sun on this big planet.
I am constantly reminded of the good in human nature instead of watching out for all the bad that is so obvious out there. The joy of being part of something bigger than myself is so healing. The opportunity to calm a worried soul is again calming mine too.

I am sure I will think of more good stuff. I am encouraging others if you have thought this is a job for you. Please speak to Jonesy. If not now then maybe someday, oneday you will be one of us on the mod team.

Posts: 1082
Joined: Fri Sep 21, 2012 4:12 am

Re: Personal benefits from being a moderator at Isurvive

Post by nelson » Fri Nov 02, 2012 7:07 pm

Thank You for encouragememt, kindness, friendship. and caring.

Posts: 1108
Joined: Wed Jul 20, 2011 2:18 am

Re: Personal benefits from being a moderator at Isurvive

Post by freshstart » Fri Nov 02, 2012 7:18 pm

Thanks, Harmony, for such a great thread!

I've been a mod for a while now. I took the plunge back on the old boards when we were having some difficulty with spam. We didn't have all the firewalls and spam filters that are on this forum. I didn't feel that I was up to it and I didn't feel that I should because I was sure that I would screw it up. On the contrary, I found, like Harmony, that I grew into the position pretty well.

It seems intimidating at the start, but we learn pretty fast and there are always people to help us. That's one of the coolest parts about it. I tend to stay pretty quiet and just behind the scenes a bit, but I read every day and I always feel like such good is being done here. And, like Harmony mentions, the ability to occasionally reach out and help another soul has done wonders to heal my own. I truly believe with all my heart that this is what makes the difference between finding contentment in healing versus just coming to terms with what happened to us.

It's not for everyone, that's for sure. There are sometimes difficult decisions, and the occasional squabble, along with the fear that I might do or say the wrong thing (it's happened before, that's certain…). For all of us though, there comes a time when we need to reach out and offer back. That's the nature of our path. I would definitely encourage anybody who's interested to speak up with Jonesy. There are no obligations, but it does give you a chance to look through the lens from a different angle. For me it is changed how I view myself, and how useful I feel that I can be.
"This is a wonderful day. I have never seen this one before." Maya Angelou

Posts: 614
Joined: Sat Jun 16, 2012 8:36 pm

Re: Personal benefits from being a moderator at Isurvive

Post by fightinback » Fri Nov 02, 2012 11:24 pm

I think you mods are doing a brilliant job. I often forget that you are all survivors too. You have all been a great strength and inspiration to me, as have many many non-mods here.

I am not alone.

I feel saddened that we have to have this one same thing in common, but I also find a common strength in that. Even when we feel we have nothing to give, we still all give so much. I have learnt a great many things from other survivors here, and I hope that in my own story, others have found just a little something that helps them too.

Seriously love you mods. Keep doing what you're great at :D

Can I just add a tiny little observation too?? I love it mods, when you open up a little too, with your own stories, and what has helped you get to where you are. It reminds me that you are survivors too, and gives me something to hold on to. As with everyone else pressure ;)
FB Delicately changing my name because I don't need to fight anymore.

Be true to yourself
Never sacrifice who you are just because someone has a problem with it


Re: Personal benefits from being a moderator at Isurvive

Post by abusewarrior » Sat Nov 03, 2012 1:09 am

Hey Jonesy and Moderators- Thanks for your great contribution. So grateful to be a part of this awesome community.

Posts: 892
Joined: Sun Aug 19, 2012 4:57 am

Re: Personal benefits from being a moderator at Isurvive

Post by firefly » Sun Nov 04, 2012 10:40 am

i love this thread.
i'm still new at modding but its awesome.
it helps me to look at things from a different perspective.
i still come here and grow as a survivor.
to be able to help others from this side of things is giving to myself as well.
these shoes are still too big but i'm growing into them.


Posts: 231
Joined: Sat Jan 21, 2012 10:11 pm

Re: Personal benefits from being a moderator at Isurvive

Post by misc » Sun Nov 04, 2012 10:27 pm

thank you mods..

what an inspiring thread.
just to have a little insight as 'fightinback' said,
reminds me that you guys have come on a long journey yourselves,
to go from having to find somewhere for support,
to now actually having the strength to support others,
is a remarkable achievement.

it encourages me to keep fighting.
we are all human, we all have horrendous days,
we all have good days,
sometimes the feeling it will always be horrendous is there to often,
coming onto to this site,helps put things into prospective.

its hard to accept sometimes that people are genuine,
people choose to support and care for others,
when you spend a life time trusting noone,
its places like this that really helps us too heal.

we all care, relate and support each other here,
i am slowly begining to accept the support and kindness of everyone here,
to realise that we all, even me, truely deserve to have a safe place to actually really be ourselves.
no need to be able to be be me..

if it wasnt for you mods..and all the directors and everyone in the background we wouldnt all be here.
so thank you all..

mods just thanku for being u....
I will surprise myself and others and get through another day..

Diversity is one thing we all have in common..celebrate it every day..

Posts: 1191
Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 4:24 pm

Re: Personal benefits from being a moderator at Isurvive

Post by Aspen » Mon Nov 05, 2012 12:30 am

Very cool thread, Harmony,

My perspective changed a lot when I stepped into these shoes. I no longer read "just what applied to me", I now read every single thread and almost every post (I have partner mods) in my assigned areas, and it has given me a greater understanding of myself and other survivors. I try to read posts in other sections, too, but I can't always read as much as I would like because of time limitations. Although I don't post as often, I read almost every day. We have so many different circumstances, but so many of the issues all come down to the same things: shame, self-loathing, secrets, betrayal, terror, fear, trauma. No matter what "category" we fall under, we all want the same things: to heal, to be accepted, to stop hating ourselves, and I'll say it, to be okay.

Misc and fightinback. I was so curious about the mods, too. Part of what helped me heal here was being able to read other peoples stories, and to see and understand, based on my own experience, what they were going through and see that I wasn't alone. It was healing to me to be supportive of others. I struggle as a Mod, sometimes, because there are times when I am watching a thread and know I was exactly at that same spot, but I wait to see what other members write before responding, because allowing other members to respond helps them heal too. I still chime in from time to time, but I try to let members show how much wisdom and compassion they already have when they are themselves healing. When we are told in abuse that we don't matter or that we aren't smart/intuitive/etc. it is healing when we are able to support others here and know that we helped them. We realize that we really are wise beyond what our abusers told us. Seeing survivors recognize that is one of my favorite parts of this place. I will try to put a little more of my healing in there, but so much of the time, survivors are already doing a great job themselves of supporting each other and I don't want anyone to not respond because I already did.

We mods are survivors, I'm an sa/incest/pa/va/rape survivor, and truth be told, I'm still working on healing and growing. There seems to be no "end point", but life becomes infinitely better with healing. When I was in the very intense part of healing, I never thought there was a better "other" side of this, and that I would always hurt deeply. There are things that I still am sad about, and don't think I can ever reflect on without being sad, but it no longer "rules me" or my life. I feel "safe" most of the time now. It feels good to be able to help others through that.

When I first became a moderator, I was shocked because some of the people who had helped me most in my healing had become mods themselves. We really are a very caring bunch of folks who have survived a lot, and we understand how difficult healing is. When I was a new member, I wondered who and where the mods were, being here as a moderator, I know that the mods are here much of the time, we are from all over the world, and we are thrilled when we see people grow through the different stages of healing. I celebrate when I see survivors heal. I love it when people reach the point when things have been incredibly dark and hopeless, and they get a glimpse of health and peace. I am thrilled with that part because I remember my own healing, how dark it was, how hopeless, then this spark happens. It's still rocky for a while, but life get's so much better. I thought I wouldn't survive, now I get to help others through that.

Getting to know the mods and Jonesy has been an amazing experience for me. They are some of the best people I know.


Posts: 4886
Joined: Thu May 17, 2012 11:32 pm

Re: Personal benefits from being a moderator at Isurvive

Post by HealingHearts » Mon Nov 05, 2012 1:15 am

Thank Moderators for your time, caring, and sharing. When ever one of you responds to a post it is so apprciated because I know that you are on this other side of healing and it gives me hope.
Very Grateful ... HealingHearts
Together we are stronger...

Posts: 776
Joined: Fri May 11, 2012 7:36 pm

Re: Personal benefits from being a moderator at Isurvive

Post by Hopesnoes » Mon Nov 05, 2012 2:37 pm


Thank you for starting this thread. It is so inspirational to read and get to know you a little better and to know that if we stick with it, it will get better. I think it is so hard to believe that it will get easier, it's as if we almost don't expect it to get better, you feel as if the pain will go on for ever.

You are all so appreciated and it is so lovely to think of the moderators reading in the background or watching from the sideline. It gives me a very safe feeling.

I look forward to a day when I am in the position to give something back.

Much love

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest