what's the point? where's the hope? always light if you look

[Starshaped]

About three times this week, I have heard from someone 'three is always hope' and I have said it to others so many times, yet when I am feeling the sadness and bleakness that hits us on this healing journey, I still find myself asking 'what's the point, where's the hope?'

When I was a teenager and right up through my twenties and even as far as my 30th year I have clung onto thisdesperation to work out what 'the point' is, thinking that it must be this overwhelming realisation of something that would make me want to live, like a thunderbolt from the sky or god or whatever, or that I would experience something or see something and think 'that's it! that's the point!' but then this year a LOT in my life changed, a huge amount. and I once again started to question 'the point' and wonder where hope had gone.... til I realisaed, the point is not some blinding realisation, or life changing bolt from the blue.... its one of many little points that make life worth living...

tday 'the points' for me are

*waking up with my partner and having a cuddle knowing that she and me both meant it
*feeding my dog cold lasagne off a fork and seeing how excited she got, then how messy
*talking with someone who really 'gets me' and helped me remember where hope lies.
*realising that a top i thought was too small for me actually fits! and WEARING it... it's bright pink
*sharing a bottle of wine with my partner last night and giggling and snuggling and watching a good film

the hope for me lies in

*the fact that me, my partner and my dog are off to Dorset in about 6 weeks for a cottage holiday for a week
*I'm going to start making art again and stop punishing myself by not doing it.

I think if we start looking for smaller 'points' reasons why it is worth living and things that make the day feel good, then we might surprise ourselves with just how many points to living there are, and they can be the smallest thing like finding a four leafed clover or making a perfect omlette or overhearing a conversation between two very young children....

I would love to hear other peoples' 'hope and points', maybe if we made a thread full of them, then when we are finding it difficult to see 'the point' or find some hope, we can look on the thread, see each others and remind ourselves why we keep doing this....

star xx
*

[there]

Star,
thank you for thinking of this and posting it. It's really cheered me up, or helped me cheer myself up.

[Truth teller]

This post made me feel so very good myself.

Thank you for posting starratty. You are making your life rock!

gentle as I can,
Tt

[audacious]

Thanks for posting this, starshaped.
Maybe thinking about the little lights will help me, too. Here's my list:
Swimming in our little pool.
Swimming with my kids.
Being a better mom every day, I can feel it happening and see it in my healthy, contented kids.
My fruitless garden. I've gotten 2 cucumbers out of the whole thing this year, but I still enjoy taking care of it. It's amazing how healing nature can be.
The serendepity of finding adult children of alcoholics meetings and my old therapist who already knew my back ground at the same time.
Art projects in the making.
Honesty with my H about where we stand, but still being loving to each other.
I can't think of anymore right now, but I will keep my eyes peeled for more.

[abusewarrior]

(((Star)))
The point is being friends with people like you who are so wonderful and caring. (Your art is magical, you are so gifted. Art can't be forced so enjoy that gift and own the joy of creating.)
I think the point for me is to always recognize that the point doesn't have to be major or huge. Sometimes it can be watching a magnolia bloom perfectly on a tree in my front lawn, or the smell of hanging moss mixed with honeysuckle. Sometimes it is seeing my husband smile just because I walked into the room, or nice clean sheets. Rain on a tin roof and a long nap in the middle of the day. Meeting someone in a store and talking for thirty minutes just because they are so interesting. The point is knowing that no matter what happened in the past, we are the captains of our own ship and our own future. A fragrant cup of tea, hot bath and a perfect novel. The most atmospheric sentence in a travel magazine that makes you feel like you are there. A friend's e-mail that cheers you up. The perfect bite of a salad with all the ingredients on your fork.
I am blessed,
Abuse Warrior

[abusewarrior]

audacious:
I am in admiration of the fact that you planted a garden at all. Two cucumbers sound heavenly.
AW

[Starshaped]

hearing the key turn in the lock and knowing that my partner has come home
heating up spaghetti and meatballs for dinner
lying in the bath with my head completely underwater and imagining that I was a mermaid

[Starshaped]

and thank you aw, its great being your friend too, I love getting your emails and hearing of your adventures! thanks for your kind comments on my art.... I need to do more of it

[glowworm]

Great thread, Star!!

Points for me this week are -
Spending time with old school friends, commiserating re our miserable dating/romance/job/what should i do with my life/other angsty quarter life crisis-type issues that we all seem to be going through and feeling like someone else in the world 'gets it' and i'm not alone, and perhaps maybe even somewhat normal...
Giggling at each other's silly drawings during a game of pictionary, feeling completely comfortable and accepted and like no time has passed since we were all 15, and realising that, as much as it sometimes hurts, these men who pass through our lives ultimately won't matter in the long run, we'll get over them and look back in years to come, reminisce and laugh... the job issues we agonise over will eventually be resolved.... but the real point is that, to be able to spend this time all together in a foreign country, and relatively carefree in our 20s, is such a tremendous blessing... friendship is one of the best things in this world, i think

[Starshaped]

I just listened to 'Brene Brown' on TED Talks, her speech entitled 'the power of vulnerability'. She has spent 10 years researching 'the pint' and vulnrerability and authenticity of living, and living a whole life, and her reasearch found that 'connectivity' is the point and 'shame and fear' is what keeps uis from realising this point. INterestng I thought, as I could apply it very much to my own life and the lives of a few of the people who I know. I cant post a URL but if you do a search for ted talks, then search for brene brown vulnerability when you find it. It is really well worth a listem

star x