Saying Hi

An area for new members to introduce themselves, as well as a place where all members can share concerns, questions or general posts.
Everyone is welcome here.

Moderators: Harmony, quixote, Jonesy

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babet
Member
Posts: 11
Joined: Sun Dec 29, 2019 10:21 pm

Saying Hi

Post by babet » Wed Jan 01, 2020 6:15 pm

Hi! I'm new here and looking around to see where I fit in (I hope I fit in somewhere). There are so many stories here, some I can really relate to and others that simply break my heart. I admire everyone who has shown the courage to share their story, it's not an easy thing to do. Why does there have to be so much guilt and shame surrounding what we had very little or no control over? I've buried (or tried to bury) much of what happened but looking back on my life (after raising a family and now watching grandchildren grow up) I realize that "burying" it didn't keep "it" from affecting everything I do or did. I carry much shame for how I failed my own children and I feel such admiration for how my children overcame how I failed them. I wish I had done for them what they have done for their children. I do feel shame but I am so stinking proud of who my babies grew up to be. I really did believe that I was dealing quite well with my childhood but recent events in my world have shown me that I've been lying to myself. On the outside I appear to be a happy adult but inside me lives a very hurt child. I want to help that child, if that makes any sense. Thank you to those who have read this, I fear I tend to ramble on and on and on. :?
Last edited by Harmony on Wed Jan 01, 2020 8:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: edited from MT to NT due to no triggering content nor language.

Harmony
Site Admin
Site Admin
Posts: 5498
Joined: Tue Nov 29, 2011 8:10 pm

Re: Saying Hi

Post by Harmony » Wed Jan 01, 2020 8:30 pm

Welcome babet,

So glad you were able to make that first post. You are already one of us. This is a safe space for you to post with others who get it. You are right. CSA survivors are not responsible for the harm that befalls them. Yet most of us suffer with guilt and shame.

Again welcome. If you want to post anything personal in content try one of parts of the forum that are not visible to those without a password.

with care,
Harmony

coconuts
Member
Posts: 3526
Joined: Mon Mar 28, 2016 2:34 am

Re: Saying Hi

Post by coconuts » Thu Jan 02, 2020 1:34 am

Welcome. Yeah the shame and self doubt are huge sometimes. And even the shame we place on ourselves for taking so long to face our stories. Many of us tried to bury it for years choosing to pretend or ignore the effects of abuse on us. Lost Time we can never get back. But amazing no matter what age when we turn and face it and refuse to let it keep running our lives. Silently guiding us just a bit off the paths of true happiness.

Welcome again. This is a great community where you can be heard and understood and accepted just the way we are.

Jonesy
Director
Director
Posts: 12990
Joined: Tue Jul 19, 2011 1:44 pm

Re: Saying Hi

Post by Jonesy » Thu Jan 02, 2020 10:33 am

Hi babet
babet wrote:
Wed Jan 01, 2020 6:15 pm
I realize that "burying" it didn't keep "it" from affecting everything I do or did.


Oh boy, I bet many of us relate to that one! A warm welcome to isurvive ;)
You are important

Email: jonesy@isurvive.org

Watercolor
Member
Posts: 1370
Joined: Wed Jan 01, 2020 11:46 pm

Re: Saying Hi

Post by Watercolor » Fri Jan 03, 2020 3:30 pm

What a beautiful post. I'm glad you found your way here, Babet, and I'm sorry for all your pain. I so relate to your comments on trying to bury everything. I'm new, too, and look forward to reading more from you.

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