Zman here!

[zman]

Hello everybody, sorry for the incoming novella.
I am here to help deal better with my rape when I was four by my biological father's brother. It was during the last visit with my father, while at his parents' farm. My abuser was living with my grandparents during the time of my assault. He believed that he was a man's man and did all he could to stay according to my memory. I was old enough to bathe myself after the water was drawn and dried up afterward.
That monster came on that day to "help" me with getting dressed for bed. He dragged me out of the tub and held me up in the air by his waist. He forced his cock into my anus and pleasured himself until he blew his load in my body. The pedophile's lust wasn't filled as he went from ass to mouth with no delay.
The attacker came in me again, this time in my mouth. He threw me back in
the tub, cleaned me up, and got me ready to go to bed.
My rapist never interacted with me again, at least to my knowledge. My father had to know what happened because he wasn't the same nice person he was before the molestation. He screamed at me for the littlest thing, until he took back home.
My mom told me that I cried profusely when I returned home. I blacked out the details of the rape, especially after a near-fatal accident that I was in less than half a year later. I was unharmed in the wreck, but my mom was left crippled the rest of her life in a wheelchair. I believed that the wreck further hides my molestation in the deeps of my mind. I was a happy child without a care in the world, before those hellish days, but I was an angry boy who hated things that he didn't understand.
Four years ago I came down ill due to then an unknown condition. I got lost
in depression and later rage for what seemed to be forever. I lost my mom and my grandpa (the man who was the true father figure in my life). I got angry and hateful with my grandma (who was, in fact, a second mom). I didn't know why I was doing this since I was her protector. It scared her since I was
a constant help in her life. It broke her heart and her at a loss to what to do.
I now know I was wanting her to get this scar in my soul out to my conscious mind.
This went on for a year until she spoke, "You must be angry over something that happened to you in the past." Within fifteen minutes all the horrors that I blacked out for thirty years came to light. We were horrified to learn the truth, but I was now feeling a heavy yoke taken off my shoulders. I am learning how to deal with the thirty years of pain that I had carried.
Forgot to add a strong trigger warning.

[Jonesy]

Hi zman

Sorry for what brings you here, but a warm welcome to isurvive. Glad you found us.

[zman]

Thanks for the welcome jonesy.

[quixote]

Zman,
You've been through a lot. I'm glad that you found this website.
quixote

[zman]

Thanks Quixote for the kind words.