All this “healing” is physically exhausting

[Flifflo]

Hello all,

I’m still doing EMDR in therapy tho we don’t do it every session. I’m about 3/4 months in now. I feel like I’m constantly in a state of exhaustion and just physically tired and needing more rest. I’m wondering if that’s just going to be the case for the entirety of my therapy? I have stuff to do!! How is therapy and processing affecting the rest of you physically? How do you get the energy to do the daily things you need to do while processing?

I appreciate any of your comments and suggestions.

Warmly,
Flifflo

[EasyStreet]

Hi Flifflo!

I've moved from one (at least !) state to another while I have been posting on this forum. When I started, everything was raw, and I would see my therapist and the day before, the day of, and the day after I would be grumpy, upset, and disregulated. Vivid dreams, etc. I think my subconscious was just forcing me to pay attention to myself. That was all very physical. Very much so.

Now, I'm in a different place, more cerebral and less physical if that makes any sense at all. I'm better regulated via diet, meditation and nature practices, I just feel stronger. No cosmic insights, just better on a day to day basis.

My wife is the source of a lot of my disregulation. I'm relaxing my body now as she is gone for a while.

I'll be monitoring things closely when she returns.

[Flifflo]

Hey Easystreet,

Thanks for your response. How long have you been in therapy? I do feel very “raw”/vulnerable/fragile right now. And just tired.

I have a meditation app I’m going to start. I get plenty of outside time in nature. It’s pretty much outside my door. I just feel so tired right now that the thought of exercising seems really hard. I am normally pretty regularly active but haven’t been as much since starting therapy. I just want to feel normal again. Whatever that is/was. Feeling a bit whiny. I’m tired of all this healing.

Thanks for your input. I appreciate it.
Flifflo

[Flifflo]

Also, I struggle with my husband as well. He gets me dysregulated. How do we manage with a spouse we chose before we started to heal?? A question I kind of don’t want to face. The idea of divorce is like my worst nightmare. My fear of being left/abandoned/replaced is strong. And I don’t feel like I could manage.

He can be very supportive at times....and sometimes a bully. I don’t really know what to do about him right now....

[Flifflo]

Sorry, I realize I’m a bit all over the place with this post. I had a rough night with my husband last night.

Easystreet, I hope you get some rest this week.
Warmly,
Flifflo

[EasyStreet]

Going on a year, with different therapists till I found one I could talk to.

I'm going it alone now, much easier with my wife out of town. Kind of a break in the storm.

But yes, the physical part, for sure. I surely know that vulnerability you speak of, but it can teach you if you listen to it.

I think that my subconscious has been guiding me, and that it allowed me to "break down" to a certain point where i could see the raw evidence of my abuse, and it's ramifications in my current life situation in a purer light, without all the secondary conditioning on top of it.

It is just a clarified view of the world for me.

In this heat I avoid outdoor exercise unless early or late in the day. The meditation sounds great. And nature too. When the sun drops a bit more, doggy and I are going outside to walk.

Be well.

[coconuts]

Listening. And exhausted as well. So so tired.

[Flifflo]

Thanks coconuts. I am still thoroughly exhausted. And currently not speaking to my husband. I managed to go through an extensive argument with him without feeling panicky that this is the end of life as I know it. That is actually huge and it felt really good to not be absolutely terrified about having an argument. I was actually ecstatic about that for about a night. Now I’m sad again and not feeling particularly hopeful about our relationship. Feeling pretty pushed around. And not listened to. And now I feel totally sidetracked from being able to process the stuff that I want to process and dealing with this current issue (which has to do with disagreements about our son)

And I’m still totally exhausted. And his parents are coming in 2 weeks and I’m totally dreading it. Luckily I see my t tomorrow.

This exhaustion. I’m feeling it through every fiber of my body. Now I just feel like crying. I can’t deal with it all.
Feeling a bit hopeless tonight.

[GrowingTree]

hi, i had this for years and suffer from psychosomatic symptoms. I use the method of dr. john sarno and am healing deeply and thoroughly. IMO he is the only doc in the world who is 100% on spot with physical feelings related to feelings and he has a great history of completely healing people

[Flifflo]

Hi GrowingTree,

You mean you had physical exhaustion while doing therapy/healing? Thanks for the reference! I will check out this Dr. John Sarno.

One of the many reasons I love this community. Wealth of knowledge!

Thank you.
Warmly,
Flifflo