need support, not sure if I belong here.

An area for new members to introduce themselves, as well as a place where all members can share concerns, questions or general posts.
Everyone is welcome here.

Moderators: quixote, Harmony, Jonesy

Post Reply
Sherlocked
Member
Posts: 41
Joined: Wed Jun 19, 2019 11:25 pm

need support, not sure if I belong here.

Post by Sherlocked » Sun Jul 21, 2019 8:33 pm

So, I joined this group when I saw how embracing everyone was and supporting. The more I see what stories others have to tell, the more I feel like my experiences don't deserve to have to much support and are of little concern.

I'm not one to do person to person support groups but I like online formats, plus my therapist thought it would be good. I'm still a newbie to opening up about what happened to me but I'm just wondering if maybe my experiences are valid enough to need support from here.

I'm complicated, what can you say. :(
"There should be no boundaries to human endeavor. However bad life may seem, while there is life, there is hope." - Stephen Hawking

reisha
Member
Posts: 2020
Joined: Sun Apr 20, 2014 11:00 pm

Re: need support, not sure if I belong here.

Post by reisha » Sun Jul 21, 2019 9:10 pm

Sherlocked, never doubt that yer experiences are JUST AS VALID, just as mind shattering as anyone elses here. Pls dont compare yers to others, its like comparin apples to motor oil. Whats important is how it affected ya, the impact on ya. Its about YER healin, YER journey, not ours.

Sendin gentle support
Last edited by Harmony on Sun Jul 21, 2019 10:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: edited trigger indicator from MT to NT due to no triggering content or language

EasyStreet
Member
Posts: 403
Joined: Fri Mar 22, 2019 7:36 pm

Re: need support, not sure if I belong here.

Post by EasyStreet » Sun Jul 21, 2019 10:19 pm

Your experience is what matters. If it was out of bounds, then it was and you know it at some level. You have to call it the way you see it.

Be well!
EasyStreet
Thanks for being my tribe.
May I always be a worthy member.

coconuts
Member
Posts: 1570
Joined: Mon Mar 28, 2016 2:34 am

Re: need support, not sure if I belong here.

Post by coconuts » Mon Jul 22, 2019 4:04 am

Your experiences are definitely valid and you are deserving of support. Comparing is a tool used by many abusers. It works to minimize our pain. It embeds into our minds and we use it against ourselves. Trying to make our pain less valid. It's just not true. Each person carries their pain differently. Each story is different and each story impacts us in unique ways. It is part of our human nature. If you need support and healing and friendship. This is the place to find it. If you feel comfortable with it that is. It's a difficult place to be but a friendly one.

Jonesy
Director
Director
Posts: 12043
Joined: Tue Jul 19, 2011 1:44 pm

Re: need support, not sure if I belong here.

Post by Jonesy » Mon Jul 22, 2019 8:01 am

Hi Sherlocked

What they said!!
Take off your shoes, get comfy with us and share when you feel ready. You are very much welcome here.
You are important

Email: jonesy@isurvive.org

Flifflo
Member
Posts: 154
Joined: Mon May 06, 2019 3:33 pm

Re: need support, not sure if I belong here.

Post by Flifflo » Tue Jul 23, 2019 4:25 pm

Hey Sherlocked,

Agree with all of the rest. lots of wise words said in this post. You belong here without a doubt. I struggle with comparisons too. I have to stop myself. It doesn’t serve us to minimize our stories and so many of us tend to do just that. You are not alone and you definitely belong. Here to support you.

Warmly,
Flifflo

quixote
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 1278
Joined: Wed Oct 24, 2012 2:14 am

Re: need support, not sure if I belong here.

Post by quixote » Wed Jul 24, 2019 2:06 am

Sherlocked,
Can you please give us an example of one your experiences and how you think it may not fit?
quixote

rybeana
Member
Posts: 36
Joined: Thu Jul 04, 2019 2:49 pm

Re: need support, not sure if I belong here.

Post by rybeana » Fri Jul 26, 2019 11:41 pm

Hi Sherlocked

As the others have said, you shouldn't compare or ever feel as though you do not deserve to be here. We are all in similar yet completely different places with what happened to us.

From my experiences and how I perceived myself, I would find excuses and compare myself to others to validate to myself that I wasn't good enough for help, I would find excuses upon excuses to avoid opening up or saying that what happened to me wasn't worthy of speaking up about.

But you have come here, joined and that is the first step. No matter what happened, your story should be heard, just take it one day at a time, its your journey, your life and it is just as important as everyone else that is here.

Sending healing thoughts
Last edited by Serenity on Sat Jul 27, 2019 11:50 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Changed MT to NT as no triggering detail included

Ginger
Member
Posts: 7
Joined: Mon Jul 22, 2019 9:16 pm

Re: need support, not sure if I belong here.

Post by Ginger » Sat Jul 27, 2019 10:52 am

Hi, I am Ginger and I am a new member as well. When my sisters and I started sharing our abuse stories, alll by the same person. Our dentist. One of my sisters said,”It wasn’t soo bad.” I found this so sad. It was bad, what he did to us was wrong and effected all of ours lives and self esteem negatively. I believe that people who seek out forums such as these, do it because we are searching for someone who understands. My husband was not abused, he would never find his way to this forum. I believe if you are searching for help in a childhood abuse forum and you found one. You are probably in the right place. I hope this forum helps us.
Last edited by Serenity on Sat Jul 27, 2019 11:50 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Changed MT to NT as no triggering detail included

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest